Be U: Harvest Moon

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Harvest Moon

Harvest
Synonyms -- intake; output; result (dictionary app)

The huge full moon last night was beautiful. I had such joy and peace standing in its light and basking in its peace and glory. It was quiet and calm out by the water, hearing crickets and the sound of the splashing water and the light was so bright, magical, giving and healing. I felt very happy to be right where I was. Blessed.

May you be open to feeling very happy right where you are.

It currently feels like a whirlwind of movement; a bouncing of one step and situation to another and another again and again and again. Life feels sporadic yet smoothly so. I feel guarded yet trusting through how I feel. I feel open even to what I'd rather not feel open to. I feel aware of my breath. I also feel aware in every situation and relationship and I feel [mostly] easily able/open to experience what another is feeling. I feel an openness of our vast and infinite universe putting the tools in the hands of each of us that are ready and willing to participate lovingly with truth, care, acceptance and empowerment for one another; for all. It is not so much an understanding. It is more of a desire to be connected coming to real fruition; an enabling of trust.

This is the time to be aware of what you allow your thoughts and feelings to think and feel. This is a time to acknowledge realistically what you are saying and sharing out to others and into the world around you. This is the time when the result(s) of both of these things are mirrored and experienced in the most realistic, challenging, demanding, loud, forgiving, healing, true and receiving way.

May you let the light shine on the 'magic' that you know is within you; is you; is yours.

May you live in the awesome that comes naturally and joyfully to/through You. May you follow your fascination and let go of what weighs you down.

Now is the time. It is always the time.

May you choose to "Just 9Be U". Be the most complete version of you - knowing, feeling, accepting, living - You.

Intake. Output. Result. It is your choice. It is unique. Your life is yours to honor, create, allow, learn, grow, become, flourish, prosper and succeed at.

Perhaps, the greatest success 'harvested' is being true on the outside of what is happening on the inside of YOU.

Beautiful, awesome, human You.

Bam.

Thank you for being here. You touch me (and others) best by being present in your own presence.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!