Be U: Around the World

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Around the World

As I was growing up - Around the World sounded so exotic, so foreign; for only a few to encounter.

With internet and technology and all that has come to be - Around the World is right at our fingertips. I used to hear things that were going on across the world and it wouldn't have too much of my attention and no impact on me really.

I am still not giving my full attention to the news because I have this belief that I get too stressed out watching 30 minutes or more of tragedy/heartbreak/sorrow. I think there should be a news time for all the good in the world; let's focus on this more. I think we are heading there. Living beings need to help living beings to really experience life in it's happiest form.

When I turn on my computer and see all the trouble in the world now, I feel it in my heart as well. I cannot and do not seem to want to dwell on it much. However, I do know it as real and I say a prayer of light and love and try to send it in the direction of the horror. I feel love surrounding the people. I feel sorrow.

Before my blogging, I knew the world was 'out there'. Now, with people from a few different countries reading my blog, I know the world is 'here'. We are all connected.

Again, for an example and I'm sorry I don't know much about anything in politics and outside my little bitty world. I saw briefly that someone is saying they are going to burn all the oil in their own country. Little, tiny me - my thinking is, any person, if they were truly being themselves, would not be thinking this if this is their lifeline, their strength, one of their offerings to the world. I think that if oil was a very good thing for a country's economics; why would any country member threaten this coming from a place of love from within themselves. I'm not sure this would be possible.

I know this is way simplifying things. Is it at all possible it could be this simple. I surely don't know and I feel there is alot of merit regarding coming from the place of love from within. Feeling and connecting to life through our own love and inner knowing. What would our world look like if we all chose to do this.

Fear, judging, and not our true selves is what I want to stay away from. I want to come from my inner knowing, love, and abundance of vulnerability. (I'm not quite at this abundance of vulnerability part.) This, to me, is real strength and the way to make us humans better at being human.

May you allow your own vulnerability today and see the beauty and light that comes from it and that can be created and passed on.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!

Coming for the Real You.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Around the World

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