Be U: Dentist Dental

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Dentist Dental

My mouth/face has been swollen and bothering me badly for two nights. My dentist did not have office hours yesterday.   Today, he is not in... Hoot; but not really.

It took me 3 hours to get brave enough to make the call and it was the easiest call once I made it. The thought of the call and thoughts of everything that would possibly follow is what prevented me from calling for help from the dentist.

Oh, this being human is so interesting. It is hard for me to put my own fingers in my mouth, let alone the dentists with their tools. I am very uncomfortable and know great fear around this.

So, I will be called in an antibiotic until next week.   This works just fine for me. In fact, I am happy about it as yesterday was my 24 year wedding anniversary and Monday is my 55th birth day celebration.

The antiobiotic will calm my mouth down and I will allow myself to be open to enjoying the weekend without the thought of dentistry or too much pain on my mind and/or in my being.

I feel many of us are being challenged regarding our most scariest, deepest issues. We are being shown that we can live, allow, go through much and we will still be standing and okay.

It is the time, now, to believe in yourself, your love, your ability and the process of life.

Now is the time to open up to all that you are and make that ('phone') call to your greatest connection of love to yourself.

May you connect to and trust all that you are in this world just as it is today. May you 'know' that you are okay even when you feel sad, angry, scared, and/or hurt.   You are okay.   You are walking through and becoming. You are processing out and being. You are allowing and coming from love just because this is what you choose to do because love and gentle power is what propels you to fly your highest. It is what feels best on and in you. And, if there is something else that feels best on and deep within you (from the depth of your being), may you do that.

May you give yourself permission to connect to it all and be your true, most loving and open self possible.

Now is your time to face that thing that you have feared the most facing...   Just maybe... Believe in yourself. I believe in the human spirit. I believe in you.

We support each other. Support on.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!