Be U: In This Land

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, May 15, 2023

In This Land

In this land where we all have 'landed' is a strange and beautiful, expansive time and a changing of the way of ‘doing/being human’.

Much is being questioned. Much is being brought out into the light so we can see, feel, learn and grow. We can choose peace and love. We can just angst and hardship. We can choose neutrality. We can choose to experience our experiences in whatever means and methods we wish. We can choose anger. We can choose to show our vulnerable and authentic self. We can pretend. We can be/get real.

Which is your go to choice... Which is your habitual choice... What would be your chosen choice to love the way you live your life through innately knowing what is most happy and fulfilling to You...

In this land and time, more and more of us are learning that we have the power, the right and the responsibility to choose the best for ourselves, our earth, each other, all living creatures and to brighten up the way of living, here now, as One.

We all do best through love. We all want to matter. We all want to be seen and heard. It's not so much, perhaps, as fitting in anymore. It's about making a difference and leaving things and people in a better place than when we arrived. Or, at least, not in a place of less than. Even though many know and are realizing less is sometimes better than more.

Oh, the lands on which we all transverse.

May from the ground up, we label it holy. From the sky down, may we label it wonderment.

Perhaps, you are a lover of the land. Whatever your interest(s), may you participate in and through from where you are now to where and what You are here to do.

Let honor, love, wisdom and knowledge drive the joy of You. Be and do You - in and on the land you inhabit - between the limitless possibilities of the earth and the sky.

Namaste. Blessed be. Blessings and love.

May you totally be the awesome You that You were sent here to be.

Life depends on what You do and who You are. Represent. Represent the holy wonderment.

Be the positive You wish to see, experience and grow in our world.

"Thank You in advance for your immediate attention to this matter." (This was often the last sentence in many of the large number of letters I transcribed, typed and edited 100 years ago as a Secretary. Ha.)

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!