Be U: Superfine

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Superfine

Our world is in a mode unlike any other we have experienced, read about, learned about, knew about, lived and/or even thought about. We are in a totally unique uniqueness for You, for Me, for Us. Since March of 2020, I have heard myself say that I am holding space for; I am open to; I am here to live my love; experience by beingness and design life from the truth of my innate knowing, soul, heart, mind and breath. I have always felt this way and now more than ever it is in this time that I feel I have been provided for and supplied with. It is my hope that this (what feels like) truth to me, I can render true, free, alive, well, loud, out loud and just because it is in me to believe this... I am learning to honor my calling deeper, louder, truthfully, willfully, courageously just as it is supposed to be so. This prayer is what comes from this part/these parts of myself.

Dear Higher Power:

Please let us feel Your love. Please let us feel Your presence. Please help us to be and do better. Guide us to our best and most loving path to stop the chaos that our world is experiencing.

Help those that are hurting to feel love. Help those that are love to keep their hearts open and continue to send out love and to keep some for themselves. Help those that are in the middle of chaos to have the ability to step back and/or out and connect to their own loving grace.

I believe there are so many more humans with loving hearts than not. I believe we all know and suffer some kind of hardship(s). Yet, perhaps we do not always have to make hardship our focus.

May you teach us, show us and empower us to create, live and offer the best of what is available to us; to carry on from this moment forward in the most beautiful and fulfilling of ways.

Teach those that are hurting to reach out for help. Teach those that are hurting to not continue the hurt but to find easier and more loving ways to deal with and process the hurt. To turn it from pain to lessons and betterment; to empathy and awareness.

Let us be one in togetherness to stop the fighting, the pain, the horrific and the terror as much as possible.

Let us not live in fear. Let us live from love.

Teach us to create peace and harmony. Teach us to let it deep within each of us so that we may build it and share it and pass it forward.

May we let there be peace on Earth and let it begin from within.

May You show us to be able to feel our own peace within. May You enter our hearts and let us know, feel and be the saving grace that we are learning is greatly needed today; everywhere and throughout the things we are experiencing and for all persons in this journey that we call life.

May we learn honor and to be honorable. May we open to the best of ourselves and each other.

Help us to see and know our own responsibility in our actions and reactions.

May we invite, be, know, experience, create, get in touch with and share ‘super fine’. As in ‘oh that is superfine child’!

Amen.

And so it is.

When we live our life from within out, we are closer to what is divine in us. When we live authentically open and free.. spontaneity and joy, strength and togetherness, empowerment and love live with us.

May you free yourself to be, do, live, share... well, YOU; Everything YOU.

THE TRUTH, LIGHTNESS, AND LOVE THAT IS YOU(RS) ON.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!