Be U: No

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

No, I am not lactating. Yet, anyway! Everyone that knows about the new drug self-trial that I am on wants to know if I have any signs of lactating. No. I happily do not. I am trying to mimic and increase prolactin in my body as it increases naturally in child-bearing/rearing. I am doing this, with my doctor, because when I was pregnant with my daughter, I had no symptoms of scleroderma.

It is worth a try.

I do not feel my emotions so deeply. I feel achy and heavy. My body and my mind are relaxed; certainly more than I am used to. These things I do know.

My husband still gets 'shocked' every time I touch his arm or hand as he notices there is great heat in my hand. He says he has never ever felt this with my hand before. This, we both find fascinating.

We evolve on. We transform on. It is probably good if we trust on and love on.

May you trust on.   May you love on.

Let love lead you into your true self and keep you on your best path. May you trust yourself to do this. May you trust the process that your life is embedded in or is embarking upon.

The Universe has us. God has us. The greater power than ourselves has us.

You have you. We can have each other. You matter. I care.

We can believe that everything that is happening is here to teach us a mere mortal lesson and as we let go and forgive ourselves and each other; as we support our own self and each other, we are evolving, transforming, growing, becoming and being everything that we are destined to, yet, live out.

No, you are not losing your mind. No, you do not need to do more.   No, you are not anything negative that you may call yourself.

You are responding to your surroundings; your life. Let your truth and the place of love within guide you.

May you respond favorably and be your own friend and, please, NO, do not ever beat yourself up for being who you are.   Instead, love yourself through. My wish; my hope for you.

Be cool man, be cool...

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!