Be U: Connection City Blues

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Connection City Blues

The wedding in the city was a smash! It was a fun, lively, one-of-a-kind wedding celebration week, weekend, day, moment, hour, and minute filled with transforming and evolving [constantly breathing] breaths.

Ha!

Me in the 'big city' is quite da hoot. Especially, that I haven't walked in a true city for a couple of years. I've been to many. I've frequented some. I've walked through them on and off for most of my life. I have never been a city girl. I've always felt most comfortable near the beach and more comfortable in the country (suburbs). And, every city I have ever been to has always taken a hold of a piece of my heart and expanded it. I think just out of the sheer connection of constant activity and bustle.

Going for a walk, alone, to take in the sights and shop for an outfit, and interact with people of all calibers, beliefs, different stories, same stories but different reactions, was very invigorating for me.

I did, however, in my own belief, see many of my fellow human beings so embedded in what they were doing; needed to do; were thinking about doing that I did feel the disconnect and divided world that is still very current and alive.

It is a currency of individualized living. I have lived this way. I know this way. I now want more.

While it is still my hope and wish for each of us to live as our own natural, powerful, empowering and 'better one's self' way, I also want us to be doing this together.

Tall order; perhaps. Can it happen... I don't know. Do I want it to... A resounding YES.

The way it can happen is for us all to be aware, involved, caring and open from the depth of ourselves to the outer edges as far as one can reach.

It starts with me. It starts with you. It starts with her; with him, with them, with us.

I can only live what I know to be true from my own natural, powerful, empowered to better myself state.

You can only live what you know to be true from your own natural, powerful, empowered to better yourself state.

We must accept where we are at this moment in time. We must bring our truest, most loving of one's self to each situation we encounter.

We must be aware, open, allow and support as many individuals that is within our power to do so. If we have connected this way with one other person today; as our truest, most loving self, it is a good day. It is a great start.

Let us connect through love and compassion and the belief and understanding that we all just want to be loved, cared for, cared about and know that we matter.

As each one of us feels this, knows this, believes that this is true with who we are, we win. I want to win.

May you want to win and make it so...

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!