Be U: Healing

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Healing

Healing is such a beautiful thing! I am healing.

The rash is just about gone and my thumb is quieter than it has been for about a month. I heal! My body heals!

This is a wonderful experience for me! I can heal! I am doing it as I sit here typing a post to you! Yay! Yeah baby! How wonderful!

I don't have the experience of healing too much in my 'repertoire'. I am adding it to my subconscious mind and to every cell that makes up 'me'. I can heal.

I am extremely tired. It takes an awful lot of good, empowering, powerful energy to heal. I am healing.

So, as I tire easily by the slightest of movements, I accept this as my truth because I am healing.

I always have found the human body and the way it works to be fascinating. How glorious is it that we do nothing and we breathe; our heart beats, our food digests and so much more. Simply miraculous.

Our bodies want to do what they were born to do. While our body is a human form, it is also a spiritual process.

The way we come about. The way we miraculous work on 'auto-pilot'. The way we heal. There is a lot of unknown about it and it can be a trusted work of art.

Spiritual to me means trusting the unknown that we are living as; in; with and about. The spiritual essence of myself is to be, breathe and move forward not knowing much; not knowing how I will; and not knowing (fully) from whence I came to where I am going... but trusting it all because I believe in something way bigger than myself. 'Spiritual'.

Of course, there are many more definitions that could be conjured and looked up I am sure. But a positive belief in something unknown to have a miraculous outcome can be known as spirituality; to me.

May you get out of your own way and let your own 'spirituality' live strongly within without. May you heal and let the journey of healing take its own unknown course and just believe it is possible to be so... if this feels right for you.

I wish for you fulfillment in good health; a good life; and an excellent journey. Believing through all the harsh experiences and challenging times propels us through life in a fulfilling, good and excellent way... just maybe.

May you believe in your experiences, who you are and where you have been and where you are going. May you believe in your own awesomeness. The miracle of you.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!