Be U: Reality via Experiences

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Reality via Experiences

Eating seems to be a topic more often shared these days; in my world anyway.

I say if you are going to eat something that you know isn't the healthiest for you, eat it, however, really eat it. Enjoy every bite if you do. !

Taste it. Really taste it. Smell the aroma of it. Look at it and realize the texture and the feel of it. Chew it slowly and enjoy it fully. It we are going to do it, and most of us do from time to time, then enjoy it and let it be okay. Do not let guilt arise. Do not feel bad or wrong. Taste it and enjoy it. There are studies that say how we respond to eating our food and how we are feeling while eating our food, creates the way we digest it. So, I say, eat it good and digest it good. Ha. Truth.

Some of us are feeling cranky and/or frustrated at times. This, as life is today, is not something you would create in the way it was and the continued way it is showing up. It is not the way that most of us would bring our circumstances in or forth. We - You and I - did not create this or bring this forth. We did not choose this to be the life we experience and live in. So, if you feel cranky, off, frustrated, out of sorts or just different, it is perfectly okay. Feel it. Allow the feeling in the most loving way available to you. Process the feeling and if we wait it out and experience in its truth - in our truth, oh happy day. Now this is productive, loving, shattering in a good way and world changing in the best way.

I believe this is the time to go as deep as possible and let your true self; your true feelings; your true desires; your true words be opened up to and delivered. Administer yourself. [Carry out. Conduct. Oversee. Run. Sit on Top of. *from the thesaurus]

Perhaps stay in each moment. Each goal. With your whole self. As best you can.

Only now is the true and real moment that we can live in. Now is the only moment that is reality. And thats even questionable depending on how we see it. Our experience is real. And, in the same moments and experiences, each one of us will have our own reality of same.

May you fill your cells, internal organs and thoughts up with your own love. Really experience your own love throughout your whole being. My wish for you.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!