Be U: Where I'm At

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Where I'm At

I am on the verge; the fence; the precipice; the edge of what I was doing to what I am going to be doing.

I've been teaching, sharing, learning about life. I've been called on by friends and random people to speak of life; to help with life; to hear others' stories and to comment.

I am going to be doing the same thing, but, it is my biggest and greatest desire right now (other than staying in a decent state of health), to instead of calling these 'connections' friends and random people to call them 'clients'.   I want to work.  I want to work so badly.

I hear it calling me.   I feel it calling me.   I am setting up a new desk area to be more private than what I have now. I am getting fully prepared. I see myself walking and working in beautiful homes and offices. I envision my 'office' to be outdoors at times. I want to work. I am ready. !!!

I have been watching "Super Soul Sunday" with Oprah on the OWN network and after each show - I call it 'enlightenment entertainment', I write to Oprah and tell her my feelings; the residue from the show left inside of me. She must want to hear this, right... She must look forward to reading this, right... Ha! She may not even ever see it but there is something strong inside of me that needs to do this.

My husband and I were just having the conversation of working and being a professional and being deeply true and loving. I think we can be all, although going back to being a professional after being away from it for 20+ years and doing only 'spiritual' (deeply loving and 'knowing' work (for free)), I am very curious to see how I will blend it all together. I know that I will. I believe it is supposed to be this way.

And the last "Super Soul Sunday" that I watched was with Jeff Weiner, CEO of LinkedIn, and he was talking about compassion and wholeness in the workplace. BAM. Another show, another connection, another interesting topic, another interest to better and support our world. I totally believe that what I'm thinking of or working on, it is a part of what I watch next on the Oprah Network. I love the OWNers idea. I think it means if I am an OWNer, I declare that I own my own stuff and want to learn more about sharing and living the stuff that I own. Perhaps, you are an OWNer yourself. I know I am not alone in loving her work.

This is a deep, light (instead of dark) secret of mine that I'm supposed to help Oprah. Her and I are dear friends.

She just doesn't know any of this. My daughter calls me her 'stalker'. I just LOVE her work and Iyanla Vanzant - well, I think I am a white Iyanla Vanzant.!... Imagination is good.   Imagination is good. !

So, I'm just following my inner knowing, my truth, my excitement, my 'draw' and I am open to being the best, fullest, trustworthy, open, helpful Life Coach that is possible for me to be.

The only thing holding me back is, of course, I don't have any clients (ha); and, my own fear of getting sick and being unable to thrive the way I see myself thriving. I want to touch people at the depth and the worst and the best of themselves. Man, I need to do this. I was born to do this. It is time for me to fly with 'clients'.

May you feel deep inside of you. May you let the inner knowing, truth, excitement and draw come forward. May you be open to seeing this into fruition and may it be so. I wish this for you if you wish it for yourself.

I 100% believe in you. I 100% believe that if one can dream it, one can become it. If one can think it, one can create it.

May all your dreams and thoughts of positivity, fun and excitement come true. May you be working towards them right now. May you get a sign that, yes, this is the path for you... May you be open to seeing this sign. May it be and come right from where you are at.

Boo! No more skeletons in the closet.!.! Let us free ourselves.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!