Be U: Enlightenment

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Enlightenment

"Enlightenment", "Vibration", "Levels", "Attunement", "Windows", "Ascension"

I see these words used frequently when talking about change, the way of our world and regarding individual positions in life.

I'm not real sure what the use of them helps. I'm not really good at using them in sentences. They don't feel important to make sure that I do use them while having a discussion. Perhaps, they all mean the same thing. Living them is most important. Experience is what I wish to convey, share and do. And, if you like and use these words, may they bring you your best self. That is always the goal for me. Being our best of self.

Enlightenment is my favorite.   Ascension is my least favorite. I'm learning labels are less important to me than feeling what you are feeling and experiencing same.

I saw someone have a huge 'aha' moment this morning. My whole inside and out is happy and dancing on. I feel so happy for this person and grateful that I got the experience of their aha moment.

It was about feeling each other's feelings, needs, desires. Getting in one another's skin and feeling. Open to what the truth that lies right here in front of us. Feeling this truth and responding in truth.

Huge.

I believe that just maybe all of the words above are doing just this. Sharing each other's lives in a way that we act, feel, are and know each other's magic; wonder and struggles.   Openness in its most grandest form.

May you be open to let people in under your beautiful skin and being open enough to want to know what is under another person's façade.

In this, our world is whole; just maybe this is wholeness.   This intimacy that was spoken of; perhaps, this is the way to create our best world by caring deeply about one another and sharing what is inside of ourselves through as much love as possible.

Being intimate with our own truth and others.   Man, does this make my whole being smile.

May you find what makes your whole being smile and may you live it openly and as best you can. Let love lead you. Let love be you.  Let love in. Let love out.

Compassion on; inward and outwardly. (I write this because a psychologist had told me that they were not sure about love; but they are sure about what compassion is. Perhaps, it is one and the same.)

Feel the whisper of love, compassion, and the true depth of you. Green is the color for healing. Perhaps, in the whisper is where the deepest 'knowing' is found.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!