Be U: Achy but Not Breaky

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Achy but Not Breaky

Today, I find my arms and legs achy. As I sit here to type, I am realizing that they are asking to be stretched. So stretch I will. I got my hair done today and that is always fun and enjoyable lately.

I feel brighter and pretty and that is never a bad feeling! The 'artist' that does my hair is also always open to a deep conversation and we get along great and it is always an enjoyable session for me. I'm going to get some color extensions in my hair. I'm deciding on 'buttercream' or violet. I'm excited to see which way I will go. I just feel a little feisty and this is one way to let my feisty roar-ish. Ha.

She's is checking into sparkling 'tinsel' pieces for the holiday and for my upcoming niece's wedding right after the new year! Oh, what love can do to/for a person and all those it touches!

I sent out a post this morning that offered to "Tell your mind to love; just love."

I realized, more deeply than ever before, that as I forgive, let go, and love what I want to forgive, let go, and love, that each of these 'things' are so possible. It is only within my willingness that it can happen. This is good news and, perhaps, not so good news.

Only I can be willing to forgive, let go and/or love, etc. No one can do it for me.

I am ready. I am ready to be free; again. ha!

I speak out loud and look in the mirror and say these words - I forgive; I let go; I love. I can tell a story about each and everything that I am experiencing. I can be general and just let the feeling happen.

You can tell a story to each and everything that comes up for you. You can just choose to let the emotion process and, perhaps, dissolve into, through and gently outside of yourself what you no longer want to hold onto within. You can do this.

May you know that it is your choice and your choice only. May you choose YOU.

I heard myself saying - well, I'm not sure that I want so and so (or a certain situation) to have my forgiveness, letting go of and/or love. I was still pondering that the 'act' that hurt me didn't deserve letting go of and happiness. Then I realized, I don't get the letting go and happiness until I let and give it to everything and everyone involved too. I know that I am ready to deserve and that I deserve to be happy. By letting go of any lingering pain, I get happy. I say 'happy on'. What matters is that if I have the power to make myself happy, why would I not choose happy...

What matters is that you have the power to make yourself happy, why would you not choose same...

Choose happy. Choose letting go. Choose forgiveness. Choose love. You can always unchoose it anytime you want. But; try it, you just may like it!

It is my wish that you do choose - whatever feels best on and in you. May you choose it for you and know that without offering the pain and the letting go up, we stay stuck. 'Stuck' is so much more boring than moving on to new adventures, openness, feelings and lovingly reacting to what is true inside of you on the outside of you.

May you tell your mind to love; just love.

Let honor be in da house! Honor yourself. Honor others. Honor situations.

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!