Be U: Chillax

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, February 9, 2023

Chillax

Chill and Relax. Relax and Chill.

I like to give myself time to relax and chill; to chill and relax.

Our encounters are different in many ways since 2020. I am different. You may be different. Many are different. Life shows differently. I found a comfort in my seclusion of 2020 for the most part. I felt like I was here to stand up for and open to a greater love than myself.

To a world love. To a healing love. To a trusting love. To an all and all out love. Whatever all and all out means. The love, this purpose, felt and feels true to me.

I continuously felt like I was sending out love and good to our world. I still do. I so want love and good for every living creature. I often feel the heaviness of the world. The best answer I know is my own love and kindness.

Harmony. Peace. Adventure. Excitement. Open hearted and Open minded. Abundance. Love.

It is inside of us all. It is what lets us answer and live our reason for being.

May you follow the path of Being U through your love, wisdom, what excites U and what shows up for U to walk in, to be, to bring forth and to be true.

May you give yourself time that brings you deep within the silence of yourself that connects U to what is right there for U to reach out to and to live.

May you 'chillax' as you live it and put your whole body, mind, heart, soul and spirit as One into the joy of Being U.

Open up to all of the life and living that connects U to gratitude.

May you be aware of what U are really experiencing, feeling and how U react through it and to it. May you be aware of the miracle that is U. May you be aware, present and process life and living - your life and living - through all of your senses that will give you the ride that you are here to journey through. The ride of Ur life.

This is it. It is now.

May you chillax into the life that is You(rs) and lead with your love and be true to your truth.

May this 'recipe' raise U and grow U into your bestest experiences and productivity of Just Being You.

Boom. Bam. Bing. Bang. Doing You.

The coolest thing to me is to be so able to [just] do this because inside of You is everything You need to let this be so. Y O U.

True, Unique, Loving, Authentic You. Chillax into everything You; kindly and true; as often and as much as possible.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!