Be U: Armor

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, December 9, 2022

Armor

Most of us have some kind of preserving, covering up, hiding certain feelings and/or thoughts to the 'outside' world. Most of us have learned to create this 'armor' because once upon a time, we were laughed at, ridiculed, or hurt because of showing this part of ourselves.

It feels to me like society still does this to one another and it is my experience that we are learning that our uniqueness is, perhaps, the main reason we are here living now.

Many of us are more tolerant, open and willing to try to understand another's point of view.

Most of us are kind, caring and want to support one another.

Is it, perhaps, true that some of us have learned a better way of creating a more united world...

Is it, perhaps, true that most of us want to. We want to know the peace and harmony that has been in songs forever. We want to create a world where our children are safe; our loved ones are safe; we are safe.

We want to experience more love and rid the world of deep hatred.

The best way that I can see this working is me living the way I'd like the world to be; in love, peace, harmony and kindness.

Do you, maybe, find yourself more aware when you are enjoying life and not enjoying life nowadays. Perhaps, can you find yourself being the watcher of what energy You are putting into our world. Perhaps, ask yourself if the energy that You are putting out is the type of energy you want coming at You.

Just maybe, it is time to begin, allow, let go of the armor you built around yourself to protect You from being laughed at, ridiculed or hurt. Perhaps, we can now stand stronger in who we are knowing that 'what people say about us is none of our business'. And, how people act, speak or think about others is more about who and where they are in life and not about the 'others' they speak of.

Is it time to let the unique, awesome and loving parts of ourselves live out loud; take a chance and stand strong in who we are from the most loving, authentic places within each of us.

What if we all could fly.. Most of us do not want to fly in the same exact way of another anyway. There is room and a course for each of us.

When you feel ready, may you take your armor off and show yourself how strong You are. I know, it is extremely likely, that you are way stronger than you think yourself to be. Our bodies and souls are way more powerful and supportive of our individual lives than we were ever taught so.

Like the Phoenix, it is time to rise from the untruths and into the ultimate beingness through our innate and divine connection. In our own innate and divine connection is where we will meet the best of each other and the greatest possibilities to create, know and live.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!