Be U: Colors Blue

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Colors Blue

Colors matter. A color palette can show the meaning and vibrations around and in each color.

Some colors can pick us up and invigorate us, like yellow and red.

Green is the healing color to include balance and peace. Gold can be about wisdom, enlightenment and the greatest healing of all - love.

Blues can be about a number of things depending on the shade. Many of us know that to 'feel blue' is to feel down. Light blue can represent friendly and refreshing. Dark blues are strong and reliable. There is a calmness that can come from blue as well. Maybe, feeling down is necessary for some wonderful and/or real reasons... May you love yourself honestly through.

If you are drawn to a color or even drawn to a piece of clothing to wear that is a certain color, go for it. Honor it. Wear it. Play with it. It just may be your innate wisdom helping you out; taking you forward.

There were many blues in the sky and sea today. The clouds were multiple colors of blues and whites. The water was showing me many contrasts of the color blue.

Today I found myself emotionally experiencing much of what blue can represent. Yet, I was wearing brown. Brown can be about reliability and strength. It can be about loneliness and isolation. It often represents Earth and Nature; it can be grounding.

When you find yourself 'blue', may you be open to noticing the beauty that may be present also; within You and around You; through You.

It is not often that we have a whole bad day, perhaps. It is often that we can have bad moments. Yet, how is it that the same type of moment for one of us can feel 'bad'. And for another of us, the same situation can feel 'good'.

May you be aware of what you are really feeling and experiencing. May you notice that we can stay stuck in a feeling. In awareness, perhaps, we can feel many things in one moment as we allow our feelings to flow through us. May you notice if you are able to 'watch' your feelings come and go.

May you color your life. May you live your true colors. May you accept what is as your truth rises and is called into play.

Your life is full of color. You are full of color. There are so many colors between black and white.

May you explore and experience all the colors that life has to offer.

May you notice what is beautiful inside of You and for You when you experience 'the blues'.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!