Be U: U are the Star of Ur Life

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, December 16, 2021

U are the Star of Ur Life

We live. If you are reading this, you are alive and living your life. This is the life, now and in each moment forward, you are living in and that is living through you.

In the light of the darkness; the stillness of your body; the quiet of your mind; the breath of your being… You will become aware of the ultimate truth of you living you.

We all have stories. Stories of our past, stories of our experiences, stories about our relationships and stories of what brought us to being here now and feeling what we feel now and who we are now.

We sometimes go on automatic to tell some of the stories that we have told time and time again. Sometimes we tell ourselves stores of untruths, whether we know it or not, because truth feels too hurtful, unimaginable or really can mess with our brains. They can put us in dis-ease. They can put us in ease.

The truth that we are living, when we bring it into our consciousness and awareness and live in thru these present times is, perhaps, one of the very best ways to take us to our ultimate destinations of the best human life we can experience, live, witness and create.

We are living our truth whether we open to it through our mind, body and soul or not. The truth is the truth whether we face it or not.

I once had repeated often to myself that if I speak my truth, it will make it so. Ha. Silly me. Whether I spoke it or not, it was, in fact, my truth.

I am learning that living in my truth by owning it with and through my open heart, mind, spirit and way, the truth shows up, teaches me, perhaps, changes my path or adds to it, lets go of something or someone, changes or engages in different thoughts, patterns and my experiences and then moves through me and picks me up and places me and the beautiful life yet inside of me to live right where I'm suppose to venture next. And, there is nothing wrong with this and there is so much awe in this.

May you let your light, stillness, quietude, truthfulness breathe into your knowingness and depth of your own unique and whole truth of everything You.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!