Be U: The Other Way

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, December 9, 2021

The Other Way

There has been a quietness in my life. It just happened. I wasn't looking for it. I wasn't consciously creating it. Change just happened.

My friends and family that texted me regularly - most of them became so busy and 'caught up' in their own life, that daily morning and evening texts and connections changed/slowed way down over the last several months.

At first, I felt lonely/different. I also felt that I wanted to honor their time and lives, so I would say to them that we will talk when we are supposed to. We will connect when we are supposed to. I didn't reach out too often on my end either as I told myself that I didn't want to pull them away from what they were doing. They had some life changing things going on and they were/are learning how to create the way to open to it, enjoy it, become it, be it and live it. I want to always honor and/or hold space for my loved ones to be/do the best that they can be/do and not pressure them or add pressure into their lives to be/do anything but that.

It wasn't just one or two, it was the majority of my 'inner circle'.

I know they love me greatly. They know I love them always. We know this because we speak it regularly and we have showed up for each other when showing up was what was most helpful and supportive; as we were available and able to in the way(s) we were available and able to do so.

I sat with this information and change for a while. I felt it. I shared my feelings. I asked it I was handling it correctly in their eyes. Was I making it up or was it really happening... It was confirmed by each one of them. They were glad that I noticed and grateful for the way I reacted. They still felt supported each of them told me.

I sat a bit longer with this. I felt it. I asked for wisdom. I went deeper. I expanded into myself. I asked for guidance, reasons, inner wisdom and knowledge.

What has finally worked itself through me is that as I stand in my truth, feel my own needs, strengthen my own wisdom and self-care, I became fulfilled into and through my own beingness.

I have realized and hear myself saying that there is no need to share or talk about any and all things I am experiencing and feeling with anyone. I can process and live me. Create the me that is coming forth and honor and hold space for myself also. This, in fact, is where the most magic is.

There is no need to talk to anyone but the person I'm feeling a certain way about.. The experience I am experiencing needs only to be addressed in the present experience of it.. The questions, if there are any, need only be addressed to the thing or person I find myself questioning.

No one or no thing can give me the answer but with the what is of what is happening. Go to the source. Open to the source. Dive into the source. Be the source. Live in my truth with the source.

Again, more magic.

And, the very best that comes from this, for me, is to be one with, flow on, live in, follow through, create inward, open outward through each source that shows itself my truth of me.

This is where the answers lie. This is where life lives. This is where I grow as me. This is where fulfillment happens. This is It.

Address what is with who and/or what is.

Where I find myself - open to it fully. Who I find myself with - follow through with love and truth. What I am becoming, bring my faith, knowledge, wisdom and tools to. My open heart awaits.

This is me and my life.

Where you find yourself - open to it fully. Who you find yourself with - follow through with love and truth. What you are becoming, bring your faith, knowledge, wisdom and tools to. Await with your open heart.

This is You and Your life.

Live it or don't. Know and own that you are the common denominator. You are connected to the source of the highest wisdom and so is every body and every thing.

Theirs. Yours. Mine. Ours.

Connect where the connection is the most plausible and creates and lives in the truth of the reality that is fulfilling, true, real, raw, open, vulnerable and dang right happening.

This is where we are the phoenix coming out of the ashes. Our true self coming out through our truest of self.

The greatest of the great life available to You.

....

Honor yourself. Honor others. Honor life. Honor the source of everything You. Honor the source of everything that shows up for you to experience.

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!