Be U: See/Feel

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, July 15, 2021

See/Feel

What we ‘see’ is what we see. How we process what we see defines and creates how we feel.

Each of us can look at the same thing and a lot of the time we can see it differently than one another. One day I can look at something and see one thing. The next day. or even in another moment, I can look at that same one thing and process what I am seeing differently than I previously did.

It depends on our moods. It depends on what is going on in our life. It depends if we only look at that one thing or do we have a few or a million other things going on at the same time. What happened the moment or moments before this present experience...

What I experience is very often how I see things. How I see things if often what I experience.

Definitely, what we tell ourselves about what we see will create and define what we feel about it.

If you choose to listen, what is it you hear you telling yourself. What thoughts and descriptions do you apply to the experiences and the things that you witness and see...

Are you a person that believes in good happening or not so good happening; automatically. What you tell yourself, is it true in the very moment you hear yourself telling yourself about it?

Can you realize if what you are saying to yourself is repetitive or habitual... Is is, possibly, a learned response.

Can you be open to taking a deep breath and look at something that you may not feel good about and retell yourself the story or think about the same thing in a different way... A way that feels the best it can feel on you...

How are You ‘processing’ today? May you notice and choose your ‘best of’ choices.

May you be aware of the thoughts you are thinking; the stories you are telling yourself; and be open to the best of/for #You option(s) to choose.

Come from your place of peace and calm. Know that you being gentle can be so powerful. Know that you can be the peace in any chaos.

I so want to encourage the best of You to be so. Your awesome is present. Your awesome awaits.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!