Be U: What You Want.. What You Really Really Want

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Saturday, June 20, 2020

What You Want.. What You Really Really Want

"Skelly ignored her sarcasm. “He said that seventy-five percent of the issues people have in their relationships—the reason they end up in therapy—is because they just assume things. They assume their partner knows what they want in life. They assume they both share the same values and goals. But you can’t do that. You can’t expect even the person who’s closest to you to know what you’re thinking unless you open up and talk about it in an honest and open way.”" An excerpt from the book “Hello, Summer” by Mary Kay Andrews.

If you have ever before heard yourself saying that 'he/she should know what I want [by now]'... STOP. Turn around and look in the mirror and ask this person if you know 100% correct and all the time what another person wants and thinks. I believe if we are honest to ourselves, we do not. We can get it right some of the time, we can guess but we cannot be 100% guaranteed to know.

Ha. Many times I do not know what I want. I do not understand things I am going through. How could I possibly expect someone else to know and understand...

Share what you are feeling. Speak what you are thinking and/or wanting. Emote your emotions. Write a list of what you want another to know if it is important to you for another to know something(s) and you want to get it accurate and have something solid to share with another.

When we openly and vulnerably offer out what it is we want, dream, desire, need and feel, we have the best possible chance of getting it and/or others to understand and to know same.

This is what many of us want; what we really, really want.

So, let us learn how to speak it through practicing same. We won't always get what we want. However, we will always know if it will be possible or not instead of guessing, hoping, waiting, etc. The more we practice, the easier it will be to share our vulnerability, dreams and desires.

To own who we are and what we want is a good thing always. When we come from love and openness, truth and trust (in ourselves and others), we all win.

Put what you want out there. It is our very best chance of us receiving what we want.

Most of us want to help and support others to get what they want. Most people want to help and support you to get what you want.

If it is possible, this is the best way to make it happen. If it is not, this is the best way to know for sure immediately.

May you ask for want you want through sharing your feelings, thoughts, dreams and desires.

Oh, may you get it.

And if not, just maybe, there is something better that awaits you. Maybe the timing or circumstances are not concurrent with what is best for you just now. Maybe there is another way to go.

Trust that what you want is okay to want it. Your desire is true, real and acceptable. There are real reasons for your desires. It is your job to go after what you want. If you do not, how will you get it...

I wish you what you want; what you really, really want.

"If you can dream it, you can achieve it." unknown

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!