Be U: But, I've Always Done it This Way

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

But, I've Always Done it This Way

Oh my my… If this isn't something that is said often and thought often. And, when it is said and 'thunked', it is certainly believed.

And, I'd like to offer 'but, is it really true' with who you are now, where you are now and what you need/want now...

I am thinking that just because something has always worked for me in the past and helped me with transitions, situations and positivity that does not mean that it will work for me now in this new, different and evolved world most of us are experiencing and living in.

I am different. Everyday there is something different to learn or a new option to doing things. Our world is different. What happens over on that side of the world, we feel and know about it on this side of the world. What happens here is known about and felt over there.

I'm thinking it may not be a bad idea, the next time you hear yourself say or think 'but, I've always done it this way', to stop and check in with yourself, your life, your feelings, your goals, your dreams and how is what you are doing and thinking working for you.

Just maybe it can be beneficial to create a new way; open to a new path; think a new thought; do it differently.

I have more tools now and you may too. I see things and know things that I never have before. I want to experience life as happily as possible through these new tools, who I am now, how I feel now and what I know now.

May you use the tools that you have now and experience life through who you are now, with what you know and feel now and through the best experience and option that you can come up with, create and allow.

May you meet your life where it is at now and start anew if this is what is going to open you up to the life you wish to experience and live. It is okay to take a turn. Whether it be a tad different or a complete U-turn, may you follow it home to You. You 'turning' may just be where it's at...

I wish you You; lovingly, openly, brilliantly, trustingly and truthfully as possible.

I wish to welcome you home to the You that you are. With everything showing up and bouncing around you, you can still find yourself home within yourself.

And, You are beautiful being You.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!