Be U: Radiance

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Radiance

You are being touched by the divine. The divine is within you. You were born out of the Divine.

I was just out walking the dogs and I was noticing how awesome, spacious, open, beautiful and divine the sky is. The word divine just kept coming in my head; and my heart.

I felt great gratitude for this expansive sky above my head and I was considering how it is above each of us walking on this earth.

This same sky is over your head and your head and your head. All you need do is look up, breathe and feel the experience that you are supposed to feel.

It is my hope that we all take time to experience what is here for us to experience and process it with open hearts and minds. Each experience is only fully experienced when we let it be so. Perhaps, until we get the message that is meant for us - that we need to know - 'like' experiences keep occurring.

It sometimes feels easier to not let certain experiences in... but is it... Is anger better than the experience of pain and/or hurt... Does putting our mind elsewhere stop the experience from happening... Does closing our heart to the feelings that come up enable us to live on our truest of paths...

It is in the experiences that are meant for us that we grow, become, and get to know the depth of ourselves.

"Know Thyself"... "To Thine Own Self be True"...

There is only one you under this expansive sky. May you dive into and live the truth of You as best you can.

In this, you are participating as you were born to. In this, the best and most true for you paths will be shown and open for you to be all that you are and can be.

May you trust the process of life. May you walk the truth of you. May you experience this moment from peace and openness as much as possible. May you experience this moment as only you can. Experience this moment in the most mindful and loving way that is possible to you.

Oh, the beauty of the divine.

Divine... (dictionary.com)
- of or relating to a god, especially the Supreme Being
- proceeding from God
- extremely good; unusually lovely
- of superhuman or surpassing excellence
- to perceive by intuition or insight

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!