Be U: Exciting, Challenging Times

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Exciting, Challenging Times

I still have a resistance to type here; to see what it is I am going to say. I feel an inner resistance to same.

Times are loud. Days are teaching. Lives are being touched. Moments are being scarred. People are being challenged.

Ease abounds in some things. So much information - anything we could possibly want to know about - is at our fingertips.

Everyone's, that chooses to participate and even some that don't, lives are open to dissection and dissemination; and in real time...

I feel bombarded with hospital stays, dis-eases, deaths, struggles, riffs, etc. One video is one too many videos that share violence, destruction, harm and/or torture.

People are in pain. More than I would have ever imagined... deep, unbridled pain.

What is painful to one person holds all levels of 'considered' pain for each of us.

Pained situations seem to be so in my face just now. Painful moments are shared and written about.

What once was private and/or kept secret is (more and more) being shared, shown, addressed; front and center.

While I think this just may be a good thing because I was taught (and believe) awareness comes before change and/or healing, it is also a difficult thing because so many of us are tired; exhausted even. Tired and exhausted to the point that sleep won't come. Tired and exhausted from information overload.

We enter into each day not knowing what the day holds. I enter into each day looking forward to what the day will show me knowing that it will be a good day. I know there are still many good days, moments, times and people in our world.

It is my hope that there will be more and more good and less and less pain. Yes, pain can be a roadmap to a better way which may be a real positive, but, pain still hurts.

Self-inflicted pain is more rampant than I want it to be also. Drugs, alcohol, cruelty, anger, revenge -- all can be considered self-inflicted pain.

OK, WE ARE BECOMING AWARE. WE ARE AWARE. We feel it, see it, know it.

May we let the awareness of pain and conflict help us to create ease and compassion.

I still say and believe that acceptance of what is, while we bring our true and loving self with us wherever we are and wherever we go, creates the greatest peace available to us.

When we fight war with war or anger with anger or unforgiving with unforgiving, we keep these things alive.

Letting love lead us into, on and through is the answer. Love one another. Respond with tenderness and gentleness. Forgive each other and our own selves believing that we are all doing the best we can with where we've been, what we know, who we are and where we are going.

Hurt people hurt people. I am much more fun to be around when I am happy and my life feels easy. When you feel happy, loved and just know that 'you are enough', it is very close to impossible to open up to hurt or hurting.

When you feel hurt or hurting, it is harder to be kind, open and loving.

We have to start with self-love. When you love yourself and feel good about yourself -- truly good and clean from the inside out -- it is much easier to share this good feeling.

We live what we know. We live what we experience. We live what we were taught. We live what is 'normal' for us.

We are creating a new normal. A new normal is being true to our own hearts and minds; not judging and, also, doing no harm.

Kindness will win. I believe this because deep down (and not usually having to go so deep), kindness feels better to everyone. Good health responds to kindness. Our hearts respond better to kindness. Our ability to succeed responds easier to kindness. Our minds are more in active harmony with kindness. Kindness supports the epitome of our best and most beautiful selves.

So, yes, when the news is on, when gossip is happening, when cruelty is spewed, we are not in peace and harmony. I function better in peace and harmony.

I choose peace and harmony.

May you bring all the peace and harmony you have and share it with our world. It does make a difference. What you do matters.

Peace and harmony are more empowering and powerful than anything ugly or hurtful.

May we allow these exciting and challenging times to encourage us all to touch the on button [that we all have] to our own peace and harmony 'ableness'. Ableness on...

Turn your ability to love [button] on the highest position possible.

Love on...

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!