Be U: Transition

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Transition

I have 'transitions' glasses.   When I go outside in the sun, my regular glasses turn into sunglasses. Ha!

With so much technology, we are surely living the most ever like "The Jetsons" we have ever been able to. So much is at our fingertips. So much can be figured out for us, scheduled for us, called for us, etc. Life is very easy in so many ways.

I can write this post, hit publish and send it out all across the world within seconds. WOW.

I can pause and look up a word; google a subject; save it as a draft. I can edit, delete and copy.   No more white out; no more tape; no more cut and paste for real.   Cut and paste is now a click and scroll.

And, yet, in some ways, life today feels the hardest it ever did.. to me at least. Communication is so great that it can breakdown a lot quicker and/or easier. Connection is so great that we are connected to so many things that we don't know about and, sometimes, rather not know. Sharing each other's truths is as simple as posting it and reading posts. Sharing untruths is just as easy.

There is a lot of greatness in this.   There is also a lot of unknown etiquette and many unknown issues. Even feeling is way 'louder' than it ever was. We are sharing what we feel and reacting out loud more than ever.

Feelings all over the map are no longer ignored as much by many. Topics have to be addressed head on and can't be buried. There is no where to hide in this new age of technology and human growth and potential. We are who we are and who we are really does matter and really is necessary to create our happiest and most fulfilled lives; individually, together.

Being our true selves and sharing same is the quickest and surest way of creating our true paths forward. There really is greatness in this.

Yet, we are all transitioning in our own way(s) together. We are all living in much unknown and can no longer allow code or ethics or rules to be the only things that guide us.

We must let our inner knowing guide us and direct us forward. What used to work - much of it surely doesn't. My hope is that we don't stay stuck long and we allow creativity to be built from the truth of what we are and what we know now.

Only from this place, is the greatest transition achieved.

It is the greatest time ever to allow and let in change. As we all change from within to without from a place of innate knowing and love, it is my hope that, together, we can create a world that transitions from one of pain, poverty, hunger and unrest to one of peace within each of us.   For us all to know safety and love, strength and giving.

Each person that has breath matters. Each person that walks this earth matters. Each person that you come in contact with knows something that you do not and will benefit from something that you do know.

Hurt people hurt people. Healed people heal people. Content people share contentment.

What we know we share. What is inside of us must come out to allow wholeness and growth. What we have experienced is what creates us.

When we open our hearts, our minds and our arms -- as each one of us does from a place of truth and trust, miracles will be in every breath.

The biggest miracle I would like to experience is your true happiness. Because I know within your happiness is happiness for others.

People that are not suffering cannot put out pain and angst.

May we be shown, taught and open to stopping the suffering. May we be shown, taught and open to creating peace on earth and goodwill to alive beings...   It has been a long time coming. Please let the time be now.

Amen.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!