Computer down

While they are digging fiber optics lines in my community, my internet connection is lost for unknown reasons. I accept and go with what is... especially if I know it is out of my control to change it.  

May I offer until we are back up and smoothly working again...

You have you.  You have proven it again and again.  In little easy ways and big extremely difficult last chance ways.   You have you.  Relax into who God/Creator made you to be.  No mistakes. Only God's/Creator's perfection.   

And so it is...  

May you give yourself permission to live you from the inside out.  Do not cross your wires.  Let all your true 'wiring' facilitate you forward!   Ha!  (I do crack myself up!  Lol). 

Greatness

I am having a bombardment of greatness!  Yay! 

I went to a 'Transformational Breathing' class last night and it was wonderful and exciting.  I saw myself not being certain if I want all this life energy up in here...  It feels scary and overwhelming; exciting and new as I tell myself, Yes!  Yes! I do want everything life has to offer me.

Today, I am going for a Cranial Sacral session.  I look very forward to unsticking the energy that is blocked between my heart and my mind.  My neck wants attention and I am hoping to give it some.

Tomorrow I have a call with an Intuitive Healer.

And, ooohhh, this is a big AND for me...

Tomorrow I am going to the "Life You Want Tour" in Miami with Oprah and her 'friends' as a guest of the tour.  I was offered via email to enter a sweepstakes for tickets.  I entered.  I was declined.  A few days later, I was offered two tickets.   WOW. 

My husband asked if I wanted to go and I had said, no, I do not want to meet Oprah that way...  And, here, now, are tickets in my possession. 

This is a big deal to me as I have many thoughts, aspirations and ideas where it comes to the wonderful work Oprah (et al) puts out into our world...  Growing your OWN is, perhaps, a good way to describe her work.  She offers insight into how to grow our own self...  THIS EXCITES ME SO....  Scares me some too...  Owning who we are is what excites me greatly.  I'm thinking You may already know this about me...  Ha. 

Oh, the webs of dilemmas, possibilities, and the process of life that I create out of my own head, heart, fear, love and truth.

I walk on.   I walk on right into the presence of many like minded and hungry for a better life peoples.  This is going to be great! 

May you walk on - right into what gives you great excitement.

                                                          Unknown

Intensity

I feel the greatest intensity I may have ever connected to.  I believe there is great change happening in and around me/us.  I am trusting myself to know that I am good.  I am hopeful that you find yourself believing you are good, too. Even in the intensity/chaos, there is peace.  We only need to connect to it. 

I am open to hearing, feeling, believing and behaving from my innermost part of my (peaceful) self.

May you be open to hearing, feeling, believing and behaving from your innermost part of your (peaceful) self.

 

What's Uppeee

I come here to write on a heavy rain, temperature dropping, beautifully serene day.  The palm trees dance in the rain and the greenery and landscaping reaches up to connect to the wholeness of each drop that lands to feed it.  It is quiet.  It is loud.  It is just as it needs to be.

I went to the doctor this morning to try to get a better handle and understanding on the drugs that I am on and the new drugs that are offered to me.  I have a great resistance to take more.  I have an inkling of determination to not let them be a part of my every day life any more. 

I cannot find the kind of help I wish to have to walk in and through this.   I cannot understand or commit to messing with my own chemistry any more through chemical drugs.  I know they are great for some.  I know they have allowed me to live a very 'fulfilling' life in the past during a whole lot of pain.  I think that I know I need to go in a different direction now.

This scares me and excites me.  I do not know how to accomplish this.  I only know that a large part of me is open to accomplish this. 

I am curious to see who I am without medicine.  It has been thousands of moons since I have lived medicine free.

Are some of my feelings, irritations and nuances because of drugs... 

I have experienced an awful lot of change, loss and challenges recently.  I think I'm supposed to feel a lot of the 'stuff' I feel as I find myself on 'change, loss and challenge street'.  As I am open for 'easy street', I invite myself to feel my way to it.  I support myself just as I am.   I do not ask why I do not feel better.   I ask myself to love myself just as I feel responding to what is.

Deep, Deep, Deep...

Many of us are in deep just now.  The flutter of life feeling like King Kong and the new every day changes and challenges that many of us are experiencing -- 'invite' us to feel unlike we've ever felt before. 

It is okay.  We are okay.  You are okay. 

May you feel what you feel.  May you speak what you feel and let love and your unique self walk you through on this journey that we call life. 

JUST BE U -- Just be everything you feel, everything you think, everything you are.  Keep what rocks your world in a way that excites you.  Let go of what rocks your world in a way that weighs you down.  Walk with the wholeness of you and experience life as only you can.  It may really just be awesome...

Where I'm At

Overloaded, under informed, connected to much, disconnected from ease....

Oh boy, do I feel LIFE. 

I am living it fully and fulfilled.

Fulfilled not in the way I thought fulfillment was but in a way that I surely feel my full self.

I feel a full head of heaviness and full hands of sensitivity.  My heart beats cheerily.

I feel unsure about how I feel and I know that I know little 100% for certain.

I am open to walking anew.   I am open to knowing anew.  I am open to whatever it is 'life' has in store for me and I have in store for myself.

I know I am good even when I do not feel so.  I know I am okay even when I feel totally challenged on several levels. 

I know that I am me and all I need do is bring me into and with every situation I encounter and every breath I take.

Life is chaotic just now.  Life is a loose bundle of everything that it can be.  There is love.  There is war. 

Many, if not most, are thinking about what feels better in them and on them.  This is interesting and enlightening.  I hope love is our answer and we can all connect to and live it with as much ease as possible in each moment.

I'm a loose bundle of everything just now and I softly push myself to come here as it is hard for me to believe I can put a sentence together out of the noise I am experiencing.

I experience on.

May you experience your truth in everything that you do; in every breath you take.  This can be done.  I believe in you.  May you let it be as you experience you as you are today.  Live on from here.  Live out from who you are.  Share it and participate with it lovingly. 

                                                        Unknown

Fan

I feel like there is a big universal fan on and it is blowing information, people, walks of life, thoughts, and ideas all into coagulating together....

I can't catch or let go of just one 'fly by' situation or thought.  It is as if we are all swirling as one big tornado with each of us being a particle of the same 'storm'.   I feel like information and feelings are at an all time high.

Bring your true self into it; with it; through it; around it; away from it as best you can in the manner that serves the deepest and most connected part of you and your complete truth.

Honor what you feel, no matter how or what you feel, through your eyes of love and light.  If, [just if] you find yourself feeling like you are a particle being thrown around without your own consent - hear, honor and respond to exactly what it is that you feel inside.  Be with your breath and these feelings and watch as you stay open to the opportunity to be the 'eye of the storm'.  Find your peace, quiet, gentleness and calm and walk on from here obeying what feels best on and inside of you.

Together, we heal.  Together, we grow.  Together, we create.

May you bring your most unique, loving and whole self into the togetherness of our world.

Party on!   Yikes...  !?!?

                                                    Unknown

1997

The last time I lived, with everything I owned, under one roof was 1997.  Wowza.

Last night I got the last of the deliveries from up north.  I am now, again, living under one roof.  All of my belongings and my family are under one roof.  Huge!  Huge!  Huge!

For me, this is somewhat unknown and unchartered territory.  It is exciting.  It is whole.  It is simple, I think...

I have a garage full of boxes and all of me is in one place physically and, perhaps, spiritually and emotionally.

I trust myself that whatever comes my way, I am okay.  I trust that what I feel and think is exactly where I need to be in this moment.

All of me - the good, the great, the hard, the crazy, the challenging, the ease of, the love... is ever present and I accept my one-ness with myself.  What I am on the inside is also on the outside. 

I give myself permission to embrace all that I am.  The parts of my body I always paid attention to at wanting it to be better, I accept (mostly).  The parts of me that I love, I empower.  The feelings that do not feel good on me, I allow and the thoughts that mess with me, I experience.

This is huge. 

I do not know what I do or where I go from here and it does not matter.  I am good in this moment and this moment I experience as it shows itself to me. 

I am a work in progress; under construction and living my life through the truth of what and who I am.  Good stuff.!

May you live your experience(s) through the truth of what and who you are.

May you allow your life to be built; to evolve; and to grow into whatever the real you can grow from the depth of yourself.  Now, this is what I've always wanted to know and experience as far back as I can remember!!!  Yay me! 

                                                  Unknown

TMI

I am on information overload.  There is so much information swirling around in our world; landing in certain places, hovering over our lives and coming from within. 

What is a person to do....

Be with what is.

Trust ourselves to be okay with whatever comes our way.

Trust that the Universe/God/Etc. has a plan for us and it is a great overall one.

Embrace and love every part of ourselves as it has made us into who we are today and at the depth of ourselves there is only love and connection.

Keep the information that feels true or 'right' to us.

Delete or send love to the information that feels untrue or 'wrong' to us.

Know that everything comes and happens and evolves as it is supposed to for our fullest overall fulfillment and growth.

Live the life that is inside of you outside of yourself, through love.

Support others in their beliefs while always being true to your own. 

Allow what is to be as you send love and live your truth out into our world.

Live who you are as an individual together with everyone you encounter.

TMI overload...  May you know and live your truth.

And, so it is.

May you know and live thyself.

                                                               Unknown

Two of Spades

I picked the Two of Spades from a group of cards.  I haven't done this in a couple of months due to when I was previously doing it, it had felt so right in leading me into the house that I fell in love with.   When that didn't happen, I seemed to have stopped because I do not understand why I feel like I got so many 'signs' and 'signals' that that was the house for me and it just wasn't so.

However, today, it felt the right thing to do and with the Two of Spades comes this information by Serena Powers.

Two of Spades:
"Two: Separation, gossip and deceit. Difficult changes."

I have been through some difficult and huge changes these past two plus years.  I gave up my big, safe home up north and am now living full time down south (which was my dream since I was 17).  I lost a few of my dearest animals and the process of all of it was challenging and the realization was that my home was truly inside of myself and not outside of myself.

I experienced death of people that their energy was a huge part of who and what I am.  They were in my life since my first breath here on Earth.  I learned about how to live life sharing these beautiful human's souls' transitioning.  None had an easy way of it and still through the greatest of their despair, I have experienced the greatest depth of their beauty. 

I feel an 'air' coming in pushing the rest through.  I feel ease starting to show it's beautiful presence ever so slightly again.

I AM READY FOR EASE.  I know ease. 

May you experience where you've been, where you are and be open to the greatness of where you want to go...

Grooming

My dogs are getting groomed in a grooming van in my driveway.  The woman comes and washes and cuts their hair.  They love it.  They wait at the front door excitedly until she gets here and they wag their tails and run when she arrives.  It is cute.  It is time consuming. I am grateful that I do not have to do it and that they love her. 

Today is Columbus Day in America so it is a holiday for some from work and school.  The regular routine is changed and it opens the door for something different and maybe exciting or productive in a different way. 

I have done much already.  I am still finding places for 'stuff' and I am still decorating to surround myself with 'happy'.  I enjoy the decorating very much. 

Yet, I do get discouraged and frustrated when I am unable to do something or if I hurt my hands while trying to do something.

I do what I can.  Sometimes, it feels enough.  Sometimes, it does not. 

Perhaps, all I need to do is give myself permission to let my truth be enough...

May you let the truth of you and your life be enough.

Allow

I'm open to allowing it to be a good day; a good moment; a good lesson; a good connection.

As I'm twirling around looking for direction, I am open to my best path being placed in front of me and my inner knowing's ability to take me on it.

Our world is open to us all.  It is open for you to create the life that you have inside of you to live.

With so much uncertainty and lack of clarity present, anything is possible.

I believe.

May you believe what feels best on you to believe.

                                                   Unknown

No Words

I come here with no words in my head to offer out.  My internet connection has been slow, at best, as 'they' are working outside to install a new system.  I've gotten so used to a quick connection that when I have to wait 30 seconds between keyboard clicks, it can feel like forever.

My daughter is home!!!  She has not been here since April and she is home!  How underlying calm and 'right' it can feel.  It is wonderful to hold her and to have her near.

My hands are not great.  They are 'sensitive' to most things I touch.  My thumbs seem to be 'talking' the loudest just now.  Perhaps, because they are the most padded of the group.  I know I have not rested enough.  Yikes.  I know that I do not choose to just now. 

No words come to mind as I sit here in anticipation of what I will write.  My mind is blank.  My heart is full.  My body is alive.  Perhaps, just now, this is enough.  Perhaps, just now, this is how I'm supposed to be.  Perhaps, for now, I process, live, support and stay aware of all that is in front of me and inside of me.

Perhaps, for now, I love.  I am realizing I can be good and not have everything in place.  I am realizing that I am good even though everything is not as I wish it to be.  I am good with not so good things in my life.  I am good.

May you allow yourself to be enough; be good; and, perhaps, for now - just be with everything that is in front of you and inside of you. 

Perhaps, 'now' is perfect in the overall picture of our lives...  I breathe.

 May you breathe. 

To Bob or Not to Bob...

A close confidant has been wanting me to get a bob haircut for ever....  She has always voiced her opinion that I would look great in one.  On my way out today to get my hair done, this same very close and special person to me questioned if I would get a 'bob'. 

For me, I don't believe a bob works.  For me, I feel I would feel dorky and uncomfortable.  I question if my friend is saying I don't look good as I wear my hair today or always I suppose.

I'm the kind of woman who just got red streaks in her hair as I feel it is fun and helps me to create comfort and joy within and without.   Oh, the things I believe!  If we believe it, it is true for us...(or is it...)

So, to bob or not to bob.  To be you or not to be you...

This is the question just now.

May you choose to live YOU.  "Just 9Be U -- Be You to Completion".

Living on the Edge of Chaos

I went to a class at the local 'Jamar Enlightenment Center' titled "Living on the Edge of Chaos".  It was interesting, enjoyable and helpful. 

Dr. Christine Page talked about negative and positives and to live in all of them allowing yourself to experience the ultimate truth in each situation. That all of it benefits our growth and true self.  I like to think of it as this is what will lead us home to ourselves and our best paths going forward. 

She talked about illness being 90% about our bodies wanting our attention to teach us lessons and guide us forward.  She also did grounding meditations that I thoroughly enjoyed. 

We had a partner session where we, with our own intuition, went into each other's sacred space and 'looked' what each other was about and if there was anything that could be shared with the other person that would help them propel forward immediately.

My partner came up with that I am total 'indian'; one with the land and all that is.  That I understand this experience here on earth and do not be afraid of it.  To be open to my truth and let myself speak and share it.  I loved hearing this.  It brought me great excitement.  I still believe I'm not where I'm going and I certainly believe I'm on my way!

What I experienced in her sacred space was that she was a 'watcher'; a 'looker'.  She watches from the background and knows much.  She has white wings and was fairy and gnome-like.  She knew everything that was important for her to know, she only has to own it.  It came to me for her to speak all this knowledge and she no longer needs to be in the background when she doesn't want to be.

It was pretty interesting. 

I learned (again) that when we find another that is willing to cross the human boundaries and enter the domain of connectedness that really cool stuff happens! 

May you give yourself permission to connect deep within -- with yourself; another; or many or all that you encounter.  Really cool stuff just may happen!

 

Dizzy with Excitement

I am here feeling dizzy, excited, uncertain, certain and many things all around.

I'm feeling the Universe sending many new paths, unknown and unchartered, for us all to travel; if we choose.  I'm feeling my family, my relationships, my every day being changing to a more truthful and ultimate way of life.  Connections, dreams, inner knowing are all coming into a brighter light - a new portal or doorway. 

As I sit on my big chair staring at the walls, I realize that what I'm thinking and feeling is literally happening in my life as well.  As I'm sitting in quietude, I hear the contractor sawing, hammering, knocking and I smell the burning of wood.  We are getting a beautiful new door on our new home - a new portal...

How interesting. 

I know not what to do with all this information coming at me.  It excites me.  It petrifies me.  It elicits happy dancing and wanting to hide. 

I do not know how to walk or be in all these changes.  I so do want to walk. 

I have people around me and connecting to me stating the same feelings with different words and scenarios - yet the opening of newness and new pathways are loud and working on getting clear. 

We can choose love.   We can choose fear.  We cannot choose both at the same time.

May you choose love.  May you be open to what is being offered you.  It may be very different than what you are looking for or expect.  And, it may be what is so inside of you that once you step on this path, you just may feel home.

Walk through whatever it is that presents itself to you in the truest stage of who you are and be ready to fly (or live) through new 'portals' that bring you to your ultimate life.

Just what if....

May you be ready to believe in yourself and step forward into what gives you ultimate connection to your own self and everything that is.

Oh deep...

To Experience or Not to Experience

I'm overloaded with much.  A new door, new curtains, new glasses, new energy.  I'm feeling better and stronger.  I can't grasp more than this.

I see and feel the universe putting many of us on our path(s) and creating situations, movements and unsettling conversations for us to immerse in or run from.

I'm choose to immerse (for the most part).  I find it exciting, exhilarating and enjoyable.  I know peace within more than without.  I trust myself to hear and feel these new paths and situations that are present in my life.  I see same in other's.  I see most responding favorably.  This excites me greatly.  lol

It amazes me the creation(s) I am seeing in peoples lives to propel them and to alter their life's focus.  To abide by what they know and to have a chance to be open to what they don't know.

My wish is that you are listening, seeing, creating and allowing what may not feel right to your brain, but certainly feels right to your being.  Listen from within and walk on knowing the truth that is you and feeling the easiest path to walk.

So much is opening for us to be our ultimate self; to live our ultimate truth.

This isn't always easy.  It is always the best and most fulfilling outcome.  It is never impossible if it is for us to experience. 

May you find yourself fulfilled as you are aware of what is and bring yourself up to meet it with gratitude, clarity, open heart and open mind.  The time is now to live all that you are here to experience.  Feel on.  I believe this for myself in every cell of my person.  May you believe what is for you, with easy clarity, with every cell of your person.