Be U: Prioritize

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Prioritize

Do I go to the horse show, do I pay the rent, do I walk the dogs, do I go out for dinner with friends, do I help my husband pack for his trip, do I bid on the house, do I make a list of what needs to be done up at the north house, do I plan to go to the open house of 'my' house here.....

When I write down what I want to do, sometimes it can feel and be overwhelming to think about it. It is mostly never overwhelming doing just that one thing. We prioritize as humans. We get done what is in front of us to do in the moment. We plan ahead. We walk through. We configure a game plan.   We always get what is most important to us done; mostly anyway. If it's not so important, even when we claim it is, perhaps, it does not get done.

I want it to be okay. I want to walk through prioritizing and creating a game plan from day to day; week to week; month to month that is joyful and loving easily as possible.

As I sit with the thought of it all in my head jumbled up, I can sometimes feel stuck, uncertain, and even unable. Yet, for the most part, I am always able as I do each situation. And, if failure happens, it's okay. I tried.   If I don't try, I won't know.

Yes, there are some circumstances that I don't really want to know fully - like what my house up north looks like. However, I am involved and I have great people and an awesome property manager. I am in good hands.   Things I need to know and things I do not; for today, anyway.

So, as I prioritize the many life altering things that are 'in my face' just now, I walk on and allow ease, joy and knowledge drive me. I am hoping to continue to persuade fear and discomfort away as much as possible.

May you allow what feels most comforting to you as you 'get the job done' while being kind, open and informed; as much as possible.

Our world is in a constant state of flux. It is supposed to be. Allow the 'ride' and stand strong and loving in who you are. Allow others to be and do the same as you speak and live the real reaction that rises up inside of you. I support you in creating and living the world outside from within.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!