Living

I wish you comfort and ease.  I support you to go within and connect to what you want/need.   I offer your own permission to make this happen and allow it.

I wish you a heart full of joy coming from how you love one person deeply. 

May you come from this joyful heart to create something you know is yours to create.

                                                                  Unknown

Poison

I have a very infected tooth that will need root canal.  OUCH.  It is swollen.  In fact, my whole face, head and neck are impaired with this infection.  My ears feel it.  I started antibiotics yesterday.  Root Canal can be about indecision in the psyche.  I think it has to do with my doctors and feeling like I am not heard or cared for in the healthcare system just now.

It is not their fault.  It is just the changing of the doctors from Pennsylvania to Florida and the rules and regulations in each state and how they differ.  I haven't slept in two nights and the pain was so great I could hardly move my head in protection of self.  The antibiotics are working to lessen the infection and the pain and I am so grateful for this.  My dentist is in Europe til next week.  His office feels I will be okay as they took x-rays and gave me the antibiotic.

If you have been following my blog, I'm thinking you may know how terrified of the dentist I am and how small my mouth is that it is never ever really pleasant for myself or the dentist(s) either. 

I do believe this abscess came about from over doing it - along with the two very small ulcers on my fingers and from not having any 'game plan' as to what medicine will work best (if any) for me to move forward to in as much peace as possible.  I have felt all alone and it is a very real possibility that my body would not process well the difference in medicine regimen so quickly and abruptly. 

I'm achy.  It is not fun.  I am staying as calm as possible and walking through knowing that I will be okay no matter what and I bring my best self forward with me in all situations.  Oh, my 'best self' hasn't been a rock star recently!

What an interesting time for me...   Oh my, my, my, my, my....

Moving; really moving so many of my ways/beliefs/knowings; physically, emotionally, spiritually. 

I spin until I don't.

May you stay as peaceful as possible and bring your self with you in all situations that present themselves to you as you LIVE your life today in the direction that feels best on you in each moment.

                                                  Iyanla VanZant, Facebook

Raw

I know that where I live and what surrounds me doesn't define me.  I know being kind and offering love and how I treat people is what comes with me wherever I go.

Yet, there are cells in my human body that do not believe this yet.  I find unease in disorganization and having a hodge-podge of things around me.

I find unease as I don't do things my way and create my 'home' from within my own being.  I feel discord and strife not creating and building a sanctuary for myself to be reclusive and recharge in.

I feel threatened as I can't find this sanctuary to surround myself just now. 

This has been a tough two years for me as I'm letting go of some wondrous things and creating a new life.  I have been challenged to the depth of who I am.  I have felt alone and unsafe.  I feel unsure and lost.

I look around and little is recognizable.  I am not taking time to look in the mirror and remember I am here.

I would not recommend this.  This is not where peace and inner knowing lie.  This is where unpeace and little recognition of self lies. 

Again, I would not recommend this.!  And, yet...  I believe this just may be where I find a depth of myself that I have not tapped in to yet.

May you look in the mirror and see the love that is you and may you allow it to reflect back on to the only person you will spend your whole life with - YOU.

I'm sure I come from challenges with medicine, challenges with starting over, challenges with speaking my truth and challenges to feel safe.

I walk on trusting the process even though the process doesn't feel too good on me just now.

Here again

I am realizing that two sores are starting on my fingers because I have been neglecting myself in lieu of housework; homework; and organization.

I knew I was neglecting me.  I knew I was pushing too hard and my goal was a 'complete' home.  It's not there yet and I have gone backwards in my health. 

Yesterday, I took time for me.  I went out for 6 hours and did things that relaxed me, made me feel better about my appearance and I just breathed in the beauty of palm trees.

This morning I awaken to a new perspective; a more realistic truth.  I need to balance between what my old habits want and what/who I am today, in this moment; what I need and feel.  So, today, I will sit and go through mail that, too, has been neglected.  I will sit and enjoy/taste/smell some food; some nourishment without just eating quickly in between my 'doings'.  Today, I will embrace sitting out on the back porch with my dogs in the yard, butterflies flying, and quiet in the air.  I will notice the beautiful palms and the greenery.  I will hear the sound of the pool circulating its own water.  I will notice the colors of the red, purple and white flowers on the plants and trees.  Perhaps, I may even go out and count the limes on the lime tree.  Perhaps, while I'm there,  I will do a few yoga poses to better wake up my whole self. 

I will participate with life just as life presents itself.  There is nothing I 'need' to do because I say so.  lol   yikes!

May you participate in your day just as it presents itself to you while giving yourself permission to 'do you' as you are today.

Neglect

I have been neglecting myself as I'm building a new home in the house we just moved in to.  My gray is coming in, to get a massage and/or exercise I will not allow myself the time.  When I go out back with my dogs, I stretch down to the ground and up to the sky and behind me.  I run around the kitchen circle with the dogs chasing me and trying to get my slippers that are on my feet.  Little Bear chases my slippers and Tiffany chases Little Bear.  It is a hoot.

However, other than that, I do what I can.  I take a break and I continue on.  I look forward to at least having every thing out of boxes so I can get the last delivery of boxes from the storage unit in Pennsylvania.  Whew..

All of my stuff in one place.  Now that will be more a less a first without ever having a goal to have it somewhere else...  Ooops.  That is not exactly my truth.

I do have the ultimate goal of being back on the beach.  I want to live the rest of my days watching the sun come up on the ocean and go down on the bay.  And, until then, I will grow my roots here 6 miles from my ultimate destination.

May you stop neglecting what you know you've been neglecting.  Perhaps, this is the day you take head on the thing, person, place, and/or situation that you've been putting off.  May you be true to you as you walk to it and through it.  Ha!

Diamond

My beautiful niece told me to shine bright like a diamond like I always do.  If everyone could be lucky enough to have such a beautiful niece.  !

I sent her the below picture and this is what her beautiful heart and mind shares back to me.  I am feeling very blessed and loved.

What wind beneath our wings people, connections and situations can be.

And, on the opposite side -- people, connections and situations can also be the undoing of one's self.

Or   is    it    them....

I am learning that it is my reaction to each 'thing' that matters most.  I can choose how I react.  I can choose a different and/or new reaction any time I want.  How brilliant is this 'shine'!...

May you shine bright like a diamond.  If you don't feel good with the thought you are thinking, may you think a new thought.  May you think again...

                                                        Unknown
Such a beautiful picture.  I have used it on my IPhone wallpaper, my computer screen and I just have to use it again here.
                                                        
Shine all the colors of who and what you are!

Whew

I am starting to see some open floor space in my new home!  I am starting to like where I look from time to time and enjoying some quiet moments in a spacious house. 

My rhythm within the new house is starting to fall into place and I feel a bit hopeful that, subtlely, I am beginning to feel the freedom that life has to offer me again.

I do need to get doctors down here to see what, if anything, they can offer me for creating ease and letting go of dis-ease.  I'm ready.  I have been saying I'm healing for at least 20 years now.  I am saying it again now.  My body is healthy and content.  My spirit enjoys my body and my body enjoys my spirit.

Lol.   How I got to spirits and bodies from the rhythm in the new house, I do not know.  However, it feels right and it makes me happy and I so I am going with it!

I am home alone again and I am cooking myself a nice meal.  I'm enjoying the sunny day, relaxing some and I'm happy to just be. 

I've made contact with important people in my life and I am enjoying my new found home.  I still sit in disarray here in my office.  Oh, but I can foresee the comfort and beauty that will be mine when all is said and done moving in.  I can see me enjoying my work and connecting to all and everyone that I am supposed to connect to!  whoo hooo!

May you let your body enjoy your spirit and your spirit enjoy your body.  Ha.! 

                                                      Unknown