Be U

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Very Busy Week Indeed

an excerpt from an email from myself to a friend.....

"A lot of transitioning everywhere. I also see alot of everyone's truth coming out and it's refreshing as ever to me to know we all have good and we all have not so good and many of us are ready to take it all on.

Together, we can create good, peace and a bond that will make us all stronger. OR so I hope. I just hope we survive this to get to that!!!!"

May you survive through your truth as it becomes less of a war and more of an acceptance to change what doesn't work anymore.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Finding It

I'm finding it hard to sit and read or watch TV or study mind, body, spirit guides. I've been taking so much in that I just might be full for now.

I just may know myself enough; perhaps, more than I need to.?

I'm feeling the urge to move, explore, live. I'm feeling an excitement of anticipation to where I'm going now. I do have a doubt in my mind that it won't last. But, I'm feeling it now and right now in this moment - oh, this is exciting and great.

I have three 'baby' sores on my fingers. I have an uncomfortableness throughout my body and ringing in the ears.

I also have a desire - a thrill to move on from here and have some fun. To let be, what is and to use my new tools, energy and power to create a brilliant life. One that I thrive in. One that I love in. One that I am me in.

How cool to bring one's true self to the game of living. If living is a game; a game is meant to create fun and excitement. A game creates a challenge to win; to do our best. Success is not always possible and the things we learn, see and do just may be the greatest success of all.

May you be finding it in yourself? I'm believing that whatever we need, just may be already ours.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Fireworks

Because this is the Fourth of July, Independence Day in the United States of America where I was born; I'd like to ask....

What kind of fireworks are you going to create/allow into your life today? May they be loving and beautiful.

Elephant

I'm confronting the many 'elephants' that live all around me. There are 'issues' that I just live with daily and pretend they do not bother me or pretend that they do not exist. These are, to some, considered 'an elephant in the room'.

I believe many of us mere mortals are brilliant at disregarding, ignoring and just choosing not to deal with an issue or two (or one hundred) that can be constantly following us around and, yet, because of pain, fear, inability, etc., we just live with them everyday. I'm a pro at this.

I have recently begun to live more and more of my truth and admit to it and face it head on. Oh my, an elephant can be so humongous...(or is it?)!

As I admit to what I am feeling through my own fear of alienation, fear of anger or being hurt, I boldly go where I have not gone before.

Anyway, I am trying to, lovingly, explore new ways, through sharing my ultimate truth and shame of this truth, to create a more full, more loving, less tense and less fearful way of life.

OH, bring out the marching band!!!!

May you, at the very least, start seeing your 'elephant(s)' in your life to create the life of being the true you.

YOU are a beautiful gift that was given to our world. BE YOU the way God/your creator/the universe/evolution intended you to be. You know this person, welcome YOU to your life each and every breath.

Monday, July 2, 2012

So Much in my Head

I have so much in my mind and processing mostly new stuff that I am having a hard time sharing. I'm not sure where I am and it's not easy for me to 'voice' my own thoughts just now. They are too jumbled in my own head.

There are many people lives around me in transition just now. Many could be considered serious.

I'm seeing some hardship and in this hardship, I am able to see the beauty. It's quite different for me. I feel that I am more used to seeing just hardship and struggle. I do see this. I also see ease and great timing. I also see peace and love. I also see small, small miracles of how things play out.

It is quite awe-inspiring to me. I feel and know my own struggles and yet, I feel that I am accepting more easily and not fighting what is. I almost do not feel connected because I'm doing and living differently. I am not on auto-pilot and it is somewhat harder just now.

Yet, the enlightenment that comes with this is pretty cool. Just experiencing what is and not ignoring what is in front of me and sharing who I am. It's a hoot.
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I notice I have been using the word 'hoot' a bit more. I don't really know what it is. It just feels right where and when I use it. I guess I'm using it to mean an enlightened experience. Maybe an aha moment to some extent.

Seeing things differently, being accepting and okay and enjoying what is because these individual moments are what make up our lives.

May you have a 'hoot' today.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Where I'm At

I am doing more; getting out more and being around more people. I am learning and seeing how easily I lose myself and my needs while truly caring about what is going on in others' lives.

I am 'fueled' by other people and I have to learn that my needs matter during this fueling process. I love hearing and being with others. It is a hoot for me. I love sharing what they are thinking, feeling, loving and struggling with. I really am empowered by people. I am grateful for this connection to people.

I do find myself giving and wanting to empower back. I believe I do this pretty darn good. I want to do this while keeping my own ability to empower myself and not burn out by being in their head more than my own.

I am better than I have ever been at this. I see myself fulfilling my own needs while truly wanting to help others fulfill their own.

I am not comfortable completely with this person that I have become. I am learning how to 'sit' with this person and not think of myself as selfish or dorky or hurting others.

It's interesting that I was not connected to much of this part of my own thought process since I've been five and in kindergarten; probably when I first started learning about socializing. I may have given up some of my self while trying to take too much in and not get in trouble or not get anyone mad at me. Mmmmm

I AM ENTITLED TO BE ME. I honor everyone when I am me, including myself. How cool is this!

YOU ARE ENTITLED TO BE YOU. You honor everyone, including yourself, when you truly shine YOU in each moment.

Is your true light shining in our world today? My hope is that it is.

Dis-ease

I pulled out the old tarot cards again asking if I'm done with this dis-eased part of my life:

From the book "The Alchemical Tarot" by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Robert M. Place. These are the cards I picked. Interesting. I wanna 'buy' into it. I believe it to be possible.

Does believing make it possible sometimes?

Six of Vessels: "A woman fills five vessels by pouring from a sixth; and from one a flower grows. The vessels are of different shapes. From the one vessel she can fill many different ones, each according to its own capacity or needs. The image on the card represents the flowering of love brought through nuturing and tending."

"Tarot Wisdom: The message reminds you that loving means to nurture and give what is needed. This might relate to personal relationships, or to work. Doing work is in itself an act of love. However, love cannot be forced on someone; true love is to give what is needed to nurture and create strength."

Are you doing your own work for your love of self?

Four of Vessels: "Tarot Wisdom: In unity there is strength, but it is a delicate balance. You have the inner strength to bear great weight. You will not break under emotional stress and pressure."

Do you believe in your own power?

Seven of Coins: "Tarot Wisdom: The ladder shows the process of evolution, and emphasizes that there is a natural growth order. An end result awaits you because you planted the right seed and undertook the correct process. You are reaping what you sow. The message also might refer to looking back over your steps, or reviewing your progress. Do not become impatient and try to jump ahead to the end or you will miss crucial steps along the way.

Are you taking the steps that will take you to where you want to go?

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!