Be U: Overwhelm to Love

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Overwhelm to Love

Hello World

There are more frequent times, as a whole world and the world itself, than ever before that overwhelm; non-sense and instability is prevalent to us mere humans.

This is a world that we live in that can be trying and insecure, unsatisfactory and frustrating.

Our whole developed world had shut down. People were sick and dying. Their were humans being asked to be heroes. And they stepped up and into this position.

Now. Here we are. The after affect of that and, perhaps, so much more. Decades and centuries of doing the same things over and over because it is what we knew and what we, collectively, decided to abide by.

Questions and questioning. There is a lot of that going on. This just may be one of the greatest times to happy, positive and inclusive change. I so want it to be.

The world I'm experiencing now is not the world I am staying in. The world I wish to live my life in is a world that we are all uplifting, encouraging and creating that we are all free to live our own internal life out loud - all of it - from love/through love. That each one of us thrive, feel safe and know each and every one of us brings something wonderful to the synergy of our world.

The world outside of us is loud and demanding a new way. Whether it is quiet touches or loud outbursts and everything in between, much of this is being experienced by the majority of us.

I would like to offer what is in our world is reflected everywhere, in everyone and everything.

The only place it is not is deep inside of us. There's a whole true loving story in each of us to capture and to write. To grow and to expand upon. Allow it to breathe. Become One with it.

There is no better time.

May you become One with the life that lives inside of You. Through your soul, your inner knowing, your innate knowing, your love, your wisdom, your experiences, your birthright.

May you become One with the life that lives inside of You where there is calm, knowledge, trust, truth and the unconditional love that is so wanted, needed and destined.

You. You are the One to give it to yourself.

May you love in, on, through and out.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!