Be U: Really Real

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Saturday, July 9, 2022

Really Real

What has been with me to share for a day or two has been about tension in the body.

I had realized years ago that it felt like I was always tense in my legs; my quadriceps really. Upon further investigation and with professional help, I realized I was holding them tight with a purpose that made me feel that I was prepared for anything that came my way. It was a way, I thought, that was protecting myself and had me 'on the ready' to deal with pain and/or hurt if it should happen. I guess I had my body set always on defensive mode.

Going deeper, I realized that holding tightness or tension in my legs did nothing but keep me in stress mode and the inability to fully relax and let go.

Are you, perhaps, holding tension somewhere in your body (always or a certain amount of the time) out of habit and/or protection mode? Perhaps, if you wish, do a scan of your body just now and ‘investigate'. Welcome awareness.

May you melt into yourself and let go again and again and again. Let your body be free to relax, to feel your blood flow beautifully and to let your body do its thing through complete letting go and being tension free. Your body knows what to do. This is giving it permission and trusting it to do so.

It is like getting out of the way and letting life flow naturally through you. Let life happen around you. Be the calm, cool, free and wise You. To heal, to grow, to flow, to be, to create harmony and homeostasis throughout the wholeness of You.

So much solves itself as we support its flow and work with it instead of against it.

Like a stream, it finds its way. Like the process of life, there is always forward movement.

May you flow with life freely. Your life. Your being. Your body. Your thoughts. Relaxed and open.

How many times have we gotten through things we never thought we would. Our life changes. We change. Yet here we still are and we can choose how we want to participate in each day.

I best enjoy ‘the day’ when I'm open, kind, in tune and connected with my true awareness and experiences. When I allow my own calm, peace and joy or even just the possibility of joy again to always participate in each breath; as often and as much as possible.

Life is full of ups and downs or what can feel like ups and downs anyway. Just what if life is full of lessons and opportunities to self-create a loving, caring, and true expression of who we are through a oneness, a togetherness that can uplift as we participate with this natural flow. As we live in this mode, we invite and know suffering to be less intense and less lengthy and we allow joy to be greater and more present.

All this seems to always be within reach and present. It is our reaction, awareness, upbringing, habits and thoughts about it all that matters the greatest. That make it so. May you choose your greatest.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!