Be U: Rainbow

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, April 28, 2022

Rainbow

A rainbow is an arc of color in the sky that shows up when the sun shines through falling rain. It is curved as it reflects the round shape of the sun. The sun is always opposite the rainbow.

ROYGBIV - The colors in a rainbow, from the outside in, are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.

I am the rainbow. I am the colors. I am the pot of gold. I am the traveler. I am the seeker. I am the seer. I am your friend. I am the believer.

I am all of these as it is what I wish to be and what I choose to connect to.

It matters most what I believe about me and what I choose to connect to.

It matters most what you believe about You and what you choose to connect to.

Everything that is and everything that I am comes from my own understanding, beliefs, experiences, dreams, creations and ownership.

Everything that is and everything that You are comes from your own understanding, beliefs, experiences, dreams, creations and ownership.

Many of us are going through new ways of being and new ways and possibilities of understanding, believing, experiencing, dreaming, creating and owning.

What once worked for us in the past, may not work for us now. What once was a belief we were certain of, we may be questioning or seeing it differently.

This is more than okay. This is exactly what is supposed to be happening just now.

Let the Truth of You color your world as You Are Now; as beautifully as possible. Feeling good, strong, happy and content in what you do, what you believe and who you are is what I wish for You.

A rainbow can be a sign of hope, promise, goodness and connection. Like a rainbow at the end of the storm, it is a gift, a wish to make and a beautiful way to see life and feel connection. It can show us the beauty and feel of inclusivity and diversity. It can be a representation of love, light, magic and friendship.

May we all live through the open, endless parameters of color, light and magic.

May we all live the most joyous side of what we know, feel, experience and are.

It may not happen overnight. It may feel impossible. It may seem unreachable.

But... Is it? For me, again and again and again, my highest vibes of loving and living are obtainable.

May we get 'obtaining' all the possible goodness available now.

Be like a rainbow and shine on through the storms; as often and as bright as possible.

May you be extra gentle, loving and kind to You. Through this, your best 'colors' are the brightest, the most magical, the most possible and the most reachable.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!