Be U: Suffering

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Suffering

“... each moment offers us an opportunity to accept what we feel, think, want and need without allowing our fears to result in more self-rejection and thus more suffering. The majority of our self-criticism actually results from denying our true self, because in doing so we are lying to ourselves and to others. Then, we give ourselves a hard time for doing so. This is why finding the courage to speak and act based on our true feelings now is the most practical expression of accepting all of who we are as well as the most direct path to enjoying our life.”

“Through following our heart, we eventually realize exactly what we need to realize about what supports our overall wellbeing and love for ourselves, and what does not, because it’s only through trial and error that we finally learn to enjoy life each day without doing so self-destructively. This dance between what we desire and the associated pleasure and pain always leads to a clear understanding of the universe’s perfectly designed plan to wake us up and help us remember that all of the peace, happiness, freedom and love we desire will only be found within ourselves.”

From the book "You Were Not Born to Suffer" by Blake Bauer

BAM! It is my time to know my truth, feel my truth, hear my truth, live my truth, witness my truth, respond to my truth and share my truth... from the most loving place available to me within allowing my truth.

I see myself doing so. I hear myself doing so. I feel myself not being able to do anything other than acknowledge to myself and express my truth out to everything that is involved in this known truth of mine.

Whoa. It can feel scary. It can feel hard to stomach. It is definitely being vulnerable. It is enlightening. It is the greatest gift that will lead me to the truth of my life. The most awesome available to us comes through living and sharing our truth from the most honest, open and compassionate place deep within. Fill it with light and let it burst forth beautifully.

May you open up to experiencing, hearing, feeling, living, witnessing, responding and sharing your truth. May you fill it with light and let it burst forth beautifully.

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!