Be U: Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, March 27, 2020

Bridge Over Troubled Waters

I very much would like to be a bridge for your troubling thoughts, concerns; your relationship with yourself and/or any other ‘troubled waters’ you may be doing your best (just now) to stay afloat in.

These are troubling times. These are the most unknown times I have ever experienced; our world has ever experienced and, most likely, most of you too.

My goal here has always been to share my truth and thoughts, and in doing so inviting you to feel, open up and experience You living You through self-love.

You are unique. You are one of a kind. You are sensational. You were born this way purposefully.

We humans feel. We humans emote. We humans experience wonderful times. We feel rough times. We think which can be troubling in itself. Ha! We dream. We create. We spin when all of these things collide, come together and happen at once.

May you always come back to this moment here and now available through your breath.

May you come back to the current goal of your very next step. Baby steps from washing your face to making a meal; to reading these words. Medium steps to admitting to yourself and sitting with a truth you have been avoiding. Large steps to speaking this truth outloud. Huge steps to speaking this truth with the one that, perhaps, some pain and or angst have arisen through your connection with a person, a situation, a need, a misunderstanding, and/or a miscommunication.

Any change in your daily routine will lead to bigger change in your overall life. Like dominoes, our moments can be connected and once touched together, life falls differently. Even when life feels like it is falling apart, it often is falling into place.

The more you live from the truth within yourself, from the most love available in each moment, the more you ask the universe to support you living your best authentic self.

There is no greater freedom.

I want to offer to, sometimes, be the bridge that helps and/or supports you. I am honored when you come here and you are reminded and/or connected to your own unique light, love, truth, way and path.

You so have you. You so know you better than anyone knows you.

I wish you freedom to live your life as you were born to.

May you give yourself permission to be free to be you.

To ‘grow yourself complete’ again and again and again.

No one can do for you what you can. You are what you need, want, fulfills you. You are who/what you are looking for.

When you are present, your best life is presented to you.

Boom. Bam. Bing. Let yourself arrive to and in every part and relationship in your life.

My greatest wish for You.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!