Be U: Ms Calm

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Ms Calm

I have had an interesting week thus far. On Monday, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure.   This is a new thing for me. I've been lucky enough to have low, comfortable numbers all my life.   Now, it is up - high for me. The doctor is calling it 'stressed induced'.   I surely have had a stressful time with houses and dogs. Guess I wasn't handling it in the way that my body wouldn't produce hypertension. I will take my pressure twice a day for two weeks and see where I am at.   It will be normal again for me.   Only once since I started taking it has it been higher than I feel comfortable.   It is not a fun feeling, however. It was scary and there are moments when I am still uncertain and fearful of how happy my heart is.

A better balance of movement, I believe will be the answer for me.

Yesterday, my daughter had to go to the dentist because of one of her teeth bothering her. It ended up we needed a second opinion and we drove to another area and had the dentist that does root canals, endodontist, look at her.   He did work on her some, but did not do a root canal.   Of all things, just after learning I had high blood pressure and, if you know me, you know my 'love' of dentists [Not] - he kindly insisted I stay in the room. I sat in the corner watching this dentist work on my most precious daughter. Oh boy.  That can't be the smartest thing for me to do! However, he was kind, gentle, helpful and caring.   He was a hoot with his words and his love for what he did. Of course, I felt the need to tell him about my small mouth and he had one patient that he had experienced this with.   He understood. And, I did great, and more importantly, my daughter was so brave and did wonderful.

Maybe - just maybe, I won't have palpitations nearly as much visiting the dentist for myself next time.

I survived.   I survived this week because this is what we humans do.   Sometimes we do it well, sometimes we do it sloppy.   Sometimes, we are uncertain if we are going to do it. But, do it we do. -- until we don't. And, thus far, we are at a 100% survival rate.

My wish is..

May we lighten up on ourselves; relax our shoulders, breathe into our bellies, trust the process and know that we survive until we don't. So, let's get the turmoil out of our heads and know that the 'moment' isn't -99% of the time- near as difficult as our minds can tend to tell us it will be.

Let's change this up and "Be Here Now" and believe that when we get 'there' -- together, with each other -- the people we share life with -- we will be okay through it all; especially when it doesn't feel so.

KNOWING this in every cell in my body would change my life drastically.

May you 'know' you survive, learn, grow and evolve. May you know 'this' with every cell (or most of them) in your body. This is an experience of being human and alive. This, perhaps, is a/the reason we are human and alive.

Believe in you on, together.

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!