"Just Be U"

Perhaps, this is you.  Perhaps, you have felt this.  Perhaps, you are ready to let go of this belief and create a new, empowering one.  

Only you can do this for yourself.  You deserve this.  You were born empowered.  You were born with everything inside of you that you need for your lifetime.  

These above thoughts feel good on me.  These thoughts resonate deep within me.  I sure wish I was not the only one who could do the work for myself.  I sure know that noone can do it like I can.  

I also know that noone can do for you what you can.  

 

May you "Just Be U"...  There is so much awesomeness inside of you.   There may be some 'muck' in there from holding stuff in and/or burying it.  But, underneath the muck is brilliance.   The song 'True Colors' by Cyndi Lauper comes to mind.  May you let you 'out'.  By you being you, you empower same in others. You have you. This is my greatest wish.

 

This 'work' is my greatest passion outside of my family.

Mooning

There is a 'supermoon' this weekend.  It is when the moon is closest to the Earth.  It may look larger by the naked eye even.  Perhaps, you want to bask in it.  Perhaps, ask a question to be answered.  Perhaps, choose to just stay open to receiving and putting out information that is for you and within you.

For me, it is about super healing; super feeling.  Allowance.  Notice.  Feel.   Dream.  Connect.  Believe.

It also feels true that this time is about manifesting what I've known to be inside of me all along -- a very special life of connecting, nurturing, and sharing. 

I had a dream last night of bank vault-like elevator doors that would open again and again and again.   I stood facing these doors, walking though them knowing that I was going further and further towards something very special.  I don't know what it was.  I remember telling myself that I did not have to look around, I only had to focus on what was in front of me.  There was fear present but it was behind me, not a part of me.  I saw heavy interlocking doors opening and opening into a deeper, more knowing place.  I kept stepping through these open doors to just see and experience yet another heavy door closed only to begin sliding open for me.

I don't know what it means.  I remember it pretty vividly.  I remember fear being in the background and trust in myself and that these doors that I was heading in were my most favorable direction.

And, yes, I am nuts.   Ha! 

I'd like to offer to stay present with your feelings, emotions, and words that you hear and feel yourself connect/connected to.  May you stay open to imagining, dreaming and creating a reality that comes from within you.

Perhaps, now is the time to get deeper and more connected to your breath and your own journey here in this lifetime.

Maybe, it is just a pretty experience of a moon lit sky and here for us to enjoy.

Whatever it is to you -- perhaps, it is nothing --

May you allow gentleness, truth and a loving connection (to yourself and your relationships) to open more fully so that everyone involved can live and be their own super self going forward.

Perhaps, as more and more of us want this, allow this, connect to this and support this...

Perhaps, super is just what we can and will create for all that know breath.

May you know your own breath and may it feel good in/on you.

Be Here Now...

I am struggling with my health.  I would think by now I would've let the struggle go and allow what is.  I was doing fairly well accepting more than not accepting....  until now.

I've gotten another ulcer on my finger and I feel beat and worn down.  I have lost desire to do the few things I did enjoy and I feel myself isolating more and just breathing in and out.

I was already pretty isolated compared to what I have previously lived.   And, now, I feel the need to go inward even more and feel, be, respond and connect to the depth of my own self again and, perhaps, deeper. 

It really is beautiful deep down from whence we come.   It really is a fortuitous well of knowledge and connection.

The spirit of the human body is so light and connected.  It is my body that is heavy and holds on to the past and wonders about the future.  The spirit just responds to the moment.

I have known beautiful, strong, enduring strength within this body.   I once said I could walk forever and ever but only run a few miles.  There was time when I couldn't wait for another day so I could go back to the gym again tomorrow and work my body. 

Now, my body screams for peace and loving movement.  

I was moving it daily for four days and my ulcer got so painful, I have fear that the exercise just may have exasperated it.  The extra power in my blood flow may allow me to feel the sore and it's cry for oxygen to heal more loudly.

I don't know.  No one can tell me.  So, I breathe with what is and I love myself as much as possible and I await an answer as I walk the dogs, do my wash and eat for comfort.  Not where I think I 'should' be.  But, where I am. 

Is it my mind that is pulling me down or is it the body pain...  Which comes first...  does it change...  is it always the same...   is it both at the same time...

Doctors have no definite answer(s).  People that love me hurt to see me struggle.  I hurt knowing that my pain is messing with their lives. 

I tell myself this is where I am supposed to be; for now.   There is still a lesson for me to learn. 

I know I am okay even as I don't feel so.  I know this is me living my life as it presents itself to me today.

For the past three days, I had no words for any social website.  The words that came to me this morning upon awakening were this:

"BE" where you are at...  Experience what is "HERE" in front of you...  Participate in the wholeness of your "NOW".

And, just now, for us...

I'd like to add...

May you love yourself through.  When you feel your mind wander away from the gift of the present may you repeat these three words [if you find peace in them]...  Be Here Now.  Be Here Now.  Be Here Now.  Be Here Now.  I accept and bring my truth to what is...

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Grasp

I am unwilling to grab onto any feelings just now.  Not mine; not yours; not another's.  I do not feel the need to be strongly connected to any feelings.  I think it is glorious to feel and share our feelings.  I think there are none that are constant.  Therefore, perhaps, for the first time in my life, I do not have the need to grasp them, explore them, wonder about them, question them.

I only feel the desire to allow them.

May you allow your feelings to come and go as they transpire.  May you allow them to grow through you.  May you allow yourself to experience them.

May you choose not to be them; hold onto them; or to live or hope for certain ones.

May you live for, through and with all of your feelings as they pass through you from one feeling to the next.

Perhaps, this is the flow of the human experience that allows for most peace within and without....

I do not know for sure.   I find myself and my feelings overflowing, overcoming, overpowering.  I find myself just over wanting to be 'stuck' in certain ones for any controlled amount of time and over wanting to run from any feeling(s) that I think could possibly hurt me or rock my world.

I allow my feelings authority and to flow throughout my human being-ness.

May you allow your feelings authority.  May you allow your feelings to flow throughout your human being-ness.

 

Ahh Deep Breath

I come here with all new thoughts, blessings, concerns, chemistry and, hopefully, solutions.

I come here not as the me I was or the me I am going to be.   I come here as the me that I am today, in this moment.

I do not know the words I will share, the feelings I will share.   I do not even know how I am feeling in this moment.

I know that I am here.  I know that I feel gratitude.  I know that I feel connected to your energy (the energy that drives us all to breathe) and this is what I am grateful for.

I do not know you, yet I know you.   You are me.   I am you. 

We all share the same breath.  We are all born the same way.  We are all wanting to experience this life in a way that we know that we matter, we are important, and there is a reason for us to be.

At least, this is where we start out.  We start out not being able to do anything for ourselves.  We start out connecting to our parents, our caregivers and 'asking' for what we want and only feeling what our desires and/or our needs are.

Society then, once we become aware of it, shows us many options of the 'way to be'.  We see all kinds of things; we witness all kinds of situations; and we feel many different emotions and feelings.

Some of us are told how to do things; how to be; how not to be; how not to do things.  These 'tales' are of another human's knowing.   They are not our 'inner knowing'.   Some of this may connect to us easily; some we may resist and some we may buy into mostly because many of us are taught that we need to in order to 'fit in'; to not get in trouble; or to not cause any trouble or pain.

It is my hope that we relearn at whatever age we are now.  What is right for us...  What do we believe in...  What do we know is true...  What do we want to do...  What do we not want to do...

We have the answers - our own answers that are best for us which are inside of us always.

Some of us have buried them deeper than others.  Some of us have forgotten.  Some of us have kept them close to the surface.  Some of us have kept them alive regardless of the consequences. 

My wish is that you start tapping into your own 'knowing' and start living and walking the path that you know just feels so darn whole and good on you.  The path that is so you that it empowers others' to be so them.

This is the path I am on and am always searching for my next step to continue on my best and most loving path.

May you take your next step that is truest for you and gives you that feeling of mattering; ability to breath easy; importance; and reason.   Take the next step as it defines the totality of you.  Take your next step that makes you feel so good, happy, true and beautiful that you shine so bright it lights up another's pathway to who they are.

These are the pathways that I wish to be a part of.  This is the path that I wish to walk forward on.   This is the only path that is possible for me now as I'm ready, strong enough, love myself enough and love 'you' enough that any other path would be a lie and extremely hurtful for me to walk down.   I have done this much work.   I have wanted this so badly for so long.  I am God's creation and I honor God by being and allowing all that I am.

May you honor God (your believed Source of life) by being all that you can be and are.  The time is now.  One baby step is acceptable and greatly cheered upon.  Your path is waiting for you to claim it.  May you claim it.  I believe.

When 'Down'... Love Yourself More

Why is it sometimes when I am not feeling well and I am out and about and with people, that I pretend that I am fine...  Why do I push through the pain and discomfort and carry on like I am 'normal'...

I have an ulcer on my thumb.  It has been awhile since I've had one - probably close to a year and, man, do they hurt.  I remember when the new doctor was so surprised that the past ulcers went away without medicine.   I was moving into this new house and it was summer and I used my hands a lot and it was somewhat stressful.  I developed ulcers on two fingers.  How blessed I am that they went away.

I have a new one for about two weeks now and OUCH, it is a nuisance, a bother and I am reminded of it every time I try to use my left thumb.  It feels like I go to the moon and back. 

I remember going to concerts, out to dinner, parties, the beach, work and pretending like I wasn't in pain.  I chose to ignore it and take pain medicine... lots of pain medicine.  

Hey, I made it to the concerts, the dinners, the parties, the beach and work.  I was living, right...  (Whose to say...  I guess each of us can only make this call for our own self.)

I am now trying to love myself more and admit, allow and respect what my body is trying to tell me and listen to my own needs.  I am not going to concerts and parties, I am loving myself more.  This is what feels to be my best truth in this moment of my life. 

I'm using the energy that I do have to be very aware, love and heal as I pay attention to what my body has been wanting me to know for years.  I still am uncertain as to exactly what this pain is wanting me to know.  I do know that I love the attention I give myself and I feel more fulfilled and loved then how I previously reacted and ignored the signals of pain from my body.

I hear myself telling myself that my body produces exactly as much collagen as it needs and no more or less.  I hear myself saying that my blood circulates with the heartbeat of the universe; freely and fully.  I feel myself sleeping and napping and it feels wonderful.   I feel myself in the house calm and allowing; not judging negatively or berating myself because I'm not at these dinners, concerts, etc. like the 'healthy' people are.

I honor my life as it is given to me; as it shows itself to me.   I flow with what is.  I love myself more.

Yes, I have moments of feeling selfish, but that is my old self, my old records, my old habit of how I treated and talked to myself.  Taking great care of one's self is not selfish.  Taking care of one's self is essential. 

Today is a new day.   I can love you while I love myself too.   I can honor me and honor your life.  I can support me which enables myself to support others better.  This is where I am now.

Am I 'down'...    I don't know.   I may be the most 'up' I have ever allowed myself to be.  Being my whole true self with life processing freely and easily through me is what life is all about for me.  Being who I am is the best honor I can bestow upon my Creator, myself and any person that I connect to.

My wish for you is to allow your life to process through you freely, easily, and truthfully.  May you honor yourself in your greatest capacity which honors all of life then.  May you support yourself, which, in turn, will support all of life.  

Hurt people can hurt people.   People who love themselves, be themselves, speak themselves and share themselves through the greatest thing in life - love - perhaps, can only be love and share love... 

Try it, you and our world just may like it...  I will even go as far as to say love it...

Allowing your life to lovingly flow through you easily, freely and truly is nothing short of a miracle.  Be miraculous.  My wish for you.

Locked Down

I have been feeling locked down by my physicality.  It takes tremendous energy to move - to get myself out the door, so to speak.   I find myself settling into bed, into an outside chair, onto the couch.  I feel heavy and weighed down.

I have gained 10 pounds in 2 months.  This is what happens when one finds them self settling into chairs, etc and eating more than usual.   Wowza.  It really does happen...

My body aches and I can feel my tight skin wanting life.   I've had mouth problems either with sinus or teeth (not sure which is the culprit) and my blood pressure has increased.   It went from a low 110/60 for most of my life to a higher 140/75 to an even higher 160/89.   I have blood pressure medicine standing by.  A high borderline reading would be 140/80.

I tell myself I am supposed to be getting healthier, however, telling oneself this and not doing anything does not seem to be working!?!?!?!

So, what is a woman supposed to do when feeling locked down, heavy, dizzy and 'off'...  Dance.

I've been dancing for only two days and only for 20 minutes each day.  My blood pressure is lower 130/70 (this morning anyway).

I have been hearing myself say - no words.   There are no words to describe the fullness of what I am feeling and the unknown of what I am feeling.  I cannot easily bring words to light.   I even spent yesterday in complete 'hermit-ism' as I did not want to talk to anyone.  I wanted to honor what I was feeling - which I couldn't explain or share - and just be in it -- with no words and no judgment.

I will dance/move again today.   It is better health that is driving me now to move and to eat 'cleaner'.  The fear of my heart being unhappy is pushing me to do better.

Today is today. This is truly the only moment we have. 

Yes, our minds live in the past and the future more often then necessary, perhaps.  I feel most at peace when I'm in the now experiencing what life is showing me.  Even as I'm being shown heaviness, high blood pressure and dance; it is more fulfilling to be in this than it is to replay what was or to guess what will be.

Yesterday was yesterday.   And, I've had some great, magical and awesome yesterdays.  I had many yesterdays that changed my life course forever. 

Tomorrow is just that.  It is not for us to experience yet.  Yes, we can prepare, we can plan, we can try to orchestrate.  Do you allow yourself to be and feel okay when these preparations and orchestrations do not play out exactly like you dream them to....   Just an interesting observation, perhaps...

So, as I am in the now; dealing with and feeling what life is offering me, I am open to receive splendor, wonder and connection to all that I am and all that I can be. 

For I am not me in the yesteryear.  I am not me in the coming years.   I am me, today.   And, I am in love with me today with all the challenges, imperfections and unknown....  this is me.   This is my life.  And, I am okay with it because this is it for this moment.   Nothing more.   Nothing less.    I am me.

No one else can experience me like I do.

No one else can experience you like you do.  You are this unique and this awesome.

May you live your life as only you can.  May you be aware and feel it all.  May you bring your truth to everything that is..  in your way, your light, your darkness and your being.

May you JUST BE YOU in this moment.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.

May you know fulfillment in this.