Shutting Down for a Recharge

Sometimes, life, things, relationships, lists can all seem overwhelming.   This happens when we need a break from what we are doing to doing things that make ourselves happy or, perhaps, nothing at all.

It is okay to shut down the technology for a day.  It is okay to work at 65% instead of 100% for a day or two.  It is okay to just breathe and feel your own love for a few moments whenever you need a boost.  It is okay to share what you are feeling knowing that it is your truth and that 100% for sure you are feeling what you feel for real reasons.  And, this is what matters most to your own well-being. 

If you are feeling dramatic, perhaps, something in your life is dramatic or at one time was very dramatic.  If you are feeling hurt, perhaps, something in your life is hurting you now or bringing up old memories of being hurt.  If you are feeling tired, perhaps, you've been going and going and going and truly just need a rest.

May you know what you need and may you willingly notice, allow and give it to yourself right when you need it; even it if it is only for a brief period of time.

Recharging your batteries, so to speak, is the best thing you can do to be the most productive and loving you can be.  Doing nothing is, perhaps, the most productive thing we can do. 

Let's face it.  We are more loving when we are most fulfilled ourselves.  When we are drained and working on empty, love doesn't flow as well.

May you fill yourself up and always keep a reserve of good energy within you for a 'rainy' moment.

My wish for you.

Resisting Feelings

I come here resisting, once again, my feelings as I'm not comfortable or happy within my body. 

I have been uncomfortable with tooth pain in at least four different areas of my mouth over the last several days.  Lack of sleep and high quantity of drugs to get through have me irritable, hurting, shut down and unhappy.

I'm resisting what is in front of me (getting my mouth worked on) out of fear.  The dentist has told me to wait until I am done antibiotics for a few days and I have an appointment for May 11.  I'm not sure what tooth or mouth area he will work on first.  I'm not sure it is something that he can 'fix'.  All I can do is walk through the best I can and love through.

I'm tired of struggling; tired of hurting; tired of being afraid and just tired.   I currently feel best when I'm under the covers in my big, warm and comfy bed.  Perhaps, I will end up there very soon as I hear this is what my mind and body are asking for. 

I'm sweaty.  I'm cool.  I'm eating poorly.  I'm in the cycle of discomfort; deeply.  

I was cutting back on Xanax taking one less every other day and it seems that as I choose to cut back, (each time) something comes up that challenges me and I lose...   Or is it winning as at least I have an answer to change things up and get me through.

And, perhaps, changing things up - fighting what is - treating one's symptoms through burying them --  is this just prolonging what has to be experienced... 

Until I face life/it/things face on.... perhaps, full positive change will not be complete.

I have come far.  I have done much.  I have changed my chemistry.  I have changed my thinking. Apparently, I am not done yet because I know suffering today.

Or, is suffering still winning.  Does being human mean knowing suffering...  Is medicine a gift from God... 
                                [above is one of my greatest and recurring conundrum dance]

I think suffering is human and has to happen from time to time...  or does it...  And, I also think there is much unnecessary suffering that being human may create.

This is what this new shift - the changes - the lessons -- this what is that is brought to us -- is here to teach us.

ACCEPT and LIVE exactly what is in front of you - with love, compassion, trust and openness.

May we follow our truth into the next chapter of our lives and know that where we are today - we have the best shot of our best tomorrow by participating in and following our very own truth.  Each situation that arises within us; before us; and around us is best lived from our truest of self.  Just by being our true self wholly and with kindness, we live our best self.  Just being you is the best way to travel through your life. 

Time to get our truth on in the most extraordinary way --   The way that is inside of us. 

May you live your inside voice on; outloud and with full ownership through the best part of yourself.  You are extraordinary. 

You know you are living your best self when you are standing and living from your truth in kindness, wonder and allowing-ness.  When you know you are doing/being/acting from your best place within - you will be connected to the full miracle of you and you will respond accordingly.

I  do not feel good.  I still love on.   I know love within.  I know love without.  I embrace my discomfort knowing it is here to teach me a lesson and to guide me forward and onward in this human experience.  It is not easy to embrace what hurts me.  Yet, to fight it may be my least favorable answer as I find that it hasn't worked yet. 

I will survive.  I will thrive.  I will be the best that God has made me.  Because that is who I am.  That is how I roll.  This is how I know I live my most fulfilled self; the true me that I encounter and am.

I don't know what will come from this.  I do know love feels better than any other choice I could conjure up.  For me, love is the answer.  It is what brings me my greatest joy within, without, around and in front of...  Love is it for me.  Anything different feels less inviting.

May you know what it is for you and may you allow it to grow in, around and through your entire entity.

Dentist Dental

My mouth/face has been swollen and bothering me badly for two nights.  My dentist did not have office hours yesterday.   Today, he is not in... Hoot; but not really.

It took me 3 hours to get brave enough to make the call and it was the easiest call once I made it.  The thought of the call and thoughts of everything that would possibly follow is what prevented me from calling for help from the dentist.

Oh, this being human is so interesting.  It is hard for me to put my own fingers in my mouth, let alone the dentists with their tools.  I am very uncomfortable and know great fear around this. 

So, I will be called in an antibiotic until next week.   This works just fine for me.  In fact, I am happy about it as yesterday was my 24 year wedding anniversary and Monday is my 55th birth day celebration. 

The antiobiotic will calm my mouth down and I will allow myself to be open to enjoying the weekend without the thought of dentistry or too much pain on my mind and/or in my being.

I feel many of us are being challenged regarding our most scariest, deepest issues.  We are being shown that we can live, allow, go through much and we will still be standing and okay. 

It is the time, now, to believe in yourself, your love, your ability and the process of life.

Now is the time to open up to all that you are and make that ('phone') call to your greatest connection of love to yourself.

May you connect to and trust all that you are in this world just as it is today.  May you 'know' that you are okay even when you feel sad, angry, scared, and/or hurt.   You are okay.   You are walking through and becoming.  You are processing out and being.  You are allowing and coming from love just because this is what you choose to do because love and gentle power is what propels you to fly your highest.  It is what feels best on and in you.  And, if there is something else that feels best on and deep within you (from the depth of your being), may you do that. 

May you give yourself permission to connect to it all and be your true, most loving and open self possible.

Now is your time to face that thing that you have feared the most facing...   Just maybe...  Believe in yourself.  I believe in the human spirit.  I believe in you.

We support each other.  Support on. 

Attract Self-Love

"We attract the people, places, and things that are a vibrational match to ourselves.  So if a lesson is presenting itself to you again and again, you must allow yourself to confront it head on and to truly experience it.  Be still, be present, and breathe.  Look for what it is trying to teach you.  Push through the fear, push through the emotions, and invite change within.  By fully experiencing the lesson, you will move through it, beyond it, and you will no longer attract it into your life.  Through the experience, you will identify and confront the barriers that keep you from peace, happiness, abundance, intimacy, and love.  This is growth.  This is the evolution of consciousness.  This is the art of becoming.  This is self love."  Creig Crippin

These are awesome words with much freedom provocation.

May you walk forward processing what is.

                                                       Unknown

Visualization

Breathe. Take a deep cleansing breath. Let your body relax. Let go...

 Now, if you would like...
Imagine yourself laying on a cloud; a soft, fluffy cloud. Imagine it enveloping you gently. Feel yourself sinking into this cloud and it totally supporting you. The temperature is perfect. You experience great comfort... You feel totally safe.

Now imagine this cloud taking you to a beautiful place. Perhaps, your most favorite place...

Feel how this place makes you feel.  See the sights that make you happy.  Smell the smells that bring you comfort. Feel the air caressing your body. Hear the sounds that bring you peace.

Just stay in this beautiful place and enjoy it. Relax into it. Be one with it. Breathe. Feel. Be. Experience... 

Now, staying in this relaxed and comfortable state, come back to here; to now. Continue breathing. And go on about your way.

May you know gratitude for your blessings. Namaste'.

Hope

As I awake this morning to rain, I am happily amazed at how wonderful rain feels in an almost always sunny climate.  It brings a sense of peace, rebirth and relaxation to me. 

I was up with toothaches or, perhaps, it is better to say 'mouthache' in the middle of the night.  It is not just one tooth that hurts, it is many.  It is the nerves in my gums.  It is known that scleroderma can do this.  I believe the blood circulation does not get fully into the gums, at times, and it is what is (maybe) causing the pain.  Ugh. 

I believe I have one leg in my house yet and one leg into my business venture.  I know I feel best when I'm at my computer or on the phone 'businessing'.  I find great fulfillment and purpose speaking and sharing love, challenges, trials and tribulations...  Sharing LIFE.   Real and honest life. 

I have a neighbor who wants to do pool aerobics with me.  I have two people allowing me the pleasure of reading their books and reviewing them.  I have 500 likes on Facebook.   The business is growing.  I am touching more people.  It is exciting.  It is my time to do this.

And, as I say this, I do hear concern in my mind about my health; my ability; my ableness.  I know I am connected.   I am connected to all that is.   I feel within and I feel without.  I feel you and I feel our beautiful planet.  I feel the struggles and I feel the pain.  I feel the love and I feel the awesomeness.   I feel.  I care.  I know that I care deeply.  I have experienced and worked with many modalities of healing and energy work.  I am blessed and grateful to be me...  even with the hardship of the pain and insecurities because of my physical challenges.  Hey, I have mental challenges too (for sure).  I am human.  This is the human experience.

And, I experience on... as best I can.

May you experience your humanness.. as best you can.   I cheer you on!  It is your life; and it and you matter greatly. 

Something Different

It is my understanding that with the end of April 19, 2015, also came the end to the eclipse season in our sky.  With the beginning of April 20, 2015, it is possible that we are able to 'see' clearly again, perhaps, more clear than ever.

On my way to the addiction doctor (yesterday), as I'm trying to figure out if the drugs I am on are more hurtful or helpful; if I need them or not; and how to decipher (if at all possible) between dependent and addicted, I saw a man up in a bucket truck cutting down many fronds of a palm tree.  He was cutting many of the pretty ones off to give all the new growth a great chance at life and to be able to use all the live energy from the tree's roots and trunk for itself.

I realized that it felt that this is exactly what I am doing with myself.  I am letting go of much of what I am to become everything that I want.  I want my new growth to prosper, build, grow well and become a part of the most beautiful life that I can live.

This is exciting and somewhat desensitizing of the old.  I am grabbing onto the new energies that I feel are circling around me; mostly around my head from the ears up out to the shoulders and as far as eternity goes.  I feel it.   It is on high.  It is not energy that I can go and run miles.  It is energy that I am uncertain of what to do with.  It is a spastic, heavy energy.  It feels like an energy that holds much promise, ability and light.  It is not leaving me.  It is here to stay. 

This morning I feel my heart beating fast and loud.  I choose to think of it as ensuring me that I am alive.  I stopped what I was doing when I felt my heart beating hard and fast against my chest and I stretched; I breathed; I reached up high to the sky and back to the back wall.  I reached down past my toes as I took many deep breaths and I thanked my heart for its attention to get me to do just this. 

I am asking the universe, et al for guidance, help and signs to place me on the best path that I can be on to work through love (in God's wonder), compassion, excitement, awesomeness, beauty and joyful fun.   I am ready to live all of me out in the world and to know that this is my destiny; my purpose; my calling and my passion. 

I want to touch others in the way they need/want to be touched.  I want to support others in they way they need/want to be supported.  I want to uplift what needs to be uplifted though the divinity of the universe. 

Note:  The other day a professional asked me who made me God as I was talking about this.  After much contemplation, I realize that God put this desire in me and I am going to honor it.  It is the only thing I know to do.   I believe her question was from a place of love because she saw me struggling with myself and my truth of this.  I believe her goal was to take the pressure off of myself. 

I have not a picture of what this looks like.  I can feel what it feels like.  It feels like trust, compassion, love, some discomfort, some fear and always my truth being with me and myself standing strong in it.  It is the best that I can ask for.  It is the best that I can offer.

I am in a good amount of discomfort with these energies racing around and through me.  I am not calm.  I am not settled.   I am uncertain.   I am love, trust and great hope of a better world for all. 

As I create, allow and be the world I want to live in -- it is my hope that others will join in (I believe they are already on this journey as well and many more will 'sign up') and, individually, together we will build the world comprised of the most beauty, love and support that many of us have dreamed of.

The time is now.  The time has come.  You are here on this planet now with all of us to be your truest loving self, share your uniqueness, be vulnerable and create the life that You know you are supposed to be living from a place of love, worth and trust.  Step by step; breath by breath, we build...

May you create, allow and be the world you want to live in.  May you focus on new growth only for now (perhaps).