Be U: Crux

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, August 20, 2023

Crux

In the crux of all that you are is your own uniqueness that is your superpower. What makes you standout/different is your superpower.

It may be something, because it’s so unique unto You, that you have hid or downplayed and/or even disliked about yourself. You may have not deciphered it yet. You may have loved it from the start. No matter how you see it, the reality of it does not wane.

In this reality and through the true essence of being You, once self-accepted and even self-loved, you vibrate, attract and experience the miracles of You in the most profound and enjoyable ways.

Let yourself be grateful for everything that makes U unique. It is in this gratefulness of uniqueness where your love light is the brightest and is free to live, be, thrive, have the most fun, is so important and contains the true joy of living your life’s purpose.

As we all dwell in our purpose through service and togetherness of the world (or even a limited few) everything gets uplifted when we uplift ourselves through being and honoring our true essence.

It is time now to fully embrace yourself and carry out your purpose, your passion, your essence of living your life through the most unique parts of U. Let your love, your wisdom, your charm, and ‘everything-You’ be involved in everything you do, live, experience and share.

No hard shells to break. No masks to wear. Complete authenticity and vulnerability.

May you open to the true essence of yourself and give yourself full freedom to live outloud and outside of your inner knowing, wisdom and what you love and are here to do/be/are.

I am reminded of my self created titles of “True Essence Life Coach” and “Freedom Facilitator” that I claim in full ownership that this is my love, my passion, my purpose.

You do not need a title. You certainly can choose one or more for yourself.

What is it that You love.. What is it that makes you feel true to You.. What brings You fulfillment.. This. These things are your life’s purpose.

Some purposes/callings can stay with you for most of your life if not for all of your life. Other purposes can be short term and/or brief. They all come from a source inside of you through your own knowing, wisdom and awareness.

Whatever calls to You and from within You, may you choose to answer the call. Let love be your strength, courage and guide.

We all have a heart, a mind, a soul, a gut/an instinct.

May you open to the wholeness and true essence of these gifts and let the combination of same work in unison and through freedom.

Feel the magic. Watch the magic. Share the magic.. of You.

The alchemy and elixir that is You(rs) equals to the absolute embodiment of everything You.

When there is a choice to choose love or fear, may you choose love. Choice is always available to each of us.

Thank You for being here and may you keep exploring Everything You.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!