Be U: What's Going On

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

What's Going On

Sometimes, I feel like I have very little knowledge about what is going on; the actual knowing and/or understanding can be out of my grasp. 'Non-sense' can feel present and walking into and through the unknown can definitely occur.

Yet, within my own self, I can tap in and know. There is so much wisdom, truth and adventure that can come about by tapping in.

By tapping in, to me, it is becoming aware of what is going on within me. Acknowledging and breathing mindfully. Sometimes, slowing down my breathing and taking deeper breaths. Sometimes, just watching and feeling my breath. Then, enter into knowing what I am feeling within myself. Within my body. Is there a part that is calling for more attention just now. Is there a part that is talking to me louder than other parts just now. Tapping in and letting my own realization happen to what is happening within myself.

How am I feeling... What am I feeling... Do I want to do something just now... Is there something that feels like it is pursuing me from within... Is there something that is bothering me or messing with my peace that I can look at, honor and either change a thought or directly deal with it...

Who am I without any labels or judgment. Just be and feel. Be and know. Walk with the truth of myself trusting myself.

This is where peace lies sometimes dormant, yet always at the ready. As I go within my truth and open to my love and trust, peace rises up to support me. Adventure rises up to excite me. Wisdom rises up to lead me. All I need do is truly tap in from an open heart and mind believing in all the wonderful possibilities of me. Seeing and feeling the reality of me in the moment.

May you tap into you with your heart and mind open believing in all the wonderful possibilities of You.

Get the You on that you cherish, are proud of and connect with on the deepest, most strongest of 'oh yeah this is me' connection(s).

This is You living You. The greatest gift you give to our world and you give to You and your loved ones.

Booyah. May you “Just 9Be U". "Grow Yourself Complete." Again and again and again. Let love. We all win.

Connecting to the sacred divineness of You and others is what uplifts, period. As you live the truth of You, you are encouraging, inviting and creating space for others to live from the truth of themselves.

Greatest gift of being human. Oh the miracles, magic, love, connection, strength, tenderness, glow and healing happens.

Let's light up the world by tapping in to the best parts, roads and signatures of being ourselves. Watch and participate in the evolution, transformation and bliss that is truly what we are here to participate in.

If you are alive now, breathing, being and doing, you are here to change and shift the way of the human race being in the world/universe/energy/vibration of the best is yet to come.

Individually, together, united in support and kindness of one another. Humanely, passionately, tenderly and a beautiful explosion of enjoyment.

Just. What. If.

Thank You.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!