Be U: How You Doin’

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, January 29, 2023

How You Doin’

“The struggle is real.” And we can so support ourselves.

Pain is our bodies way of telling us something is wrong or we are not in full alignment or can be something that demands our attention to lead us in another direction.

We are living in a world, today, that is not fully and easily conducive to easy living. Many of the every day things we do just now end up being harder, bigger, more frustrating because most of us are feeling the strain, chaos, untruths, and the nonsensical that is alive and being shown to us as a whole.

Stores, restaurants, doctors, pharmacies, banks, and people, etc. are all on overload and transforming/evolving since the corona virus, and probably before. However, it is my perception that we are more consciously aware now as we had to sit, live, stay and be in a very different and unique way.

What is one thing you can do just now that makes You happy/content. Do that.

What is one thought you can think right now that can brings you peace. Think that.

What is one thing you can honor, through your own love, that feels difficult and/or painful. One thing at a time and always let love.

What is one thing you are grateful for - give thanks.

I find myself breathing deep and slow. Telling myself that I am safe. I can choose how I spend and ‘see’ my day. I honor what is and my reaction to what is and do my best to react through my own love.

I am open to my wisdom and outside knowledge. I invite in the beauty that is available to me. I request for help and guidance; signs and pathways to show themselves I feel my way.

Hold on. Let go. Do. Do not. Trust yourself that You know when to do which.

Whatever feels the best for you to do…. Talk to a professional. Relax. Do a project. Do an errand. Hug yourself. Spend time with someone you enjoy greatly. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love yourself. Talk to yourself with so much love and kindness.

There is opportunity for both calm and uncalm in many, if not most things. I'm so going back and forth between the two; rapidly and often just now.

Moving my body is such a great gift to myself. Eating and feeling good about it is another. Connecting to people and sharing each other’s life in openness to understanding is another.

Whatever feels like a gift to yourself, create that.

Feel. It is ok to feel everything inside of You as it shows up. Talk about a gift. Resisting it no longer works so well. Probably, never did. But it could be done. Now, when I resist, the energy it takes is just too high a price for me to pay.

No one knows You like You do.

May you check in with yourself. See how You are doin’. May you respond with love accordingly.

Dear God,

Please show us our best and most true, enjoyable, uplifting way through You. Amen.

Thank You.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!