Be U: Hello. Is it YOU You're Looking For...

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Hello. Is it YOU You're Looking For...

I sit here with my breakfast to the side of me. I await the cleaning people and the landscapers and I am dressed for a lunch with a friend who states 'there is a lot of new stuff going on' and would like to talk with me. I find myself honored.

I look to see if there is any 'action' on my blog and I am grateful and I thank the universe (God) for people connecting to me. It makes me feel good. It helps me to feel connected and it helps me to feel whole. And, it brings me much happiness. I always hear myself thinking "please let my 'work' connect to everyone that it is supposed to". This is one of my greatest prayers and wishes.

With social media, I can get caught up with the amount of likes and views. I can, at times, feel my worth balancing with same. And, deeper down, it is the connection that makes me feel fulfilled.

When asked to say one word about myself I often see myself saying 'connected'. Deep connection is important to me. It is what I wish for; what I want; what I desire and what brings me to my own wholeness. It is loving and open connection to you that I greatly enjoy. When connections can benefit us all, it is one of life's greatest blessings.

When I first started this blog [because I heard myself saying start a blog - I didn't even know what a blog was at the time], I wanted it to be just me 'voicing' me. I didn't want feedback or comments because I was afraid. I knew it would sway the way I thought and challenge me to not lose the deep reality of myself in my posting.

I have recently been feeling (a couple of months now) that it would be nice to offer anyone to feel free to comment, ask questions, connect on their end here if you so feel inclined. I feel able, stronger and deeply based within myself... As deep as I can get for now. I am still a scaredy cat because I haven't experienced this and, apparently, there is still this part of me that exists. And, it is what is inside of me to do. I think it may be a next step.

I know that I am supposed to - was born to - help others to acquaint their self with what they already know and are. My desire to be me; the life I've lived; the classes I've taken; the lessons I've learned; the paths I've crossed; the credentials I've earned are what "Just 9Be U" is built on and originated from.

May you always seek your truth within and live your truth without. Let what you feel on the inside be shown as same on the outside; from a place of love, trust, kindness and awareness. Do YOU with what you are; what you feel; what you know; what you think; and where you are as best as you can - as loving as you can. As we empower ourselves, we empower others. I say it is always time to

Empower on!

Go deep. Get high. Ha.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!