Be U: Sister has Left the Building...

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Sister has Left the Building...

I just dropped my beautiful sister and her precious friend off at the airport with my daughter. I am so grateful that they were here. I am sad that they are leaving. I'm so happy they will be back with their daughters(!) in May for Mother's Day. I'm looking so forward to their next visit.

While they were here, I did take one hour to go and have a "John of God" session with crystals and candles at the Jamar Enlightenment Center here close to my home.

I've read and saw shows regarding John of God and his healing and I always had a curiosity about him and his work.

We had a half hour session of moving energy around and discussing being open to healing. Then there was a half hour session lying on a table with chakra lights and colors caressing my body. I purchased a crystal that was blessed by John of God; two actually.

I walked away believing that I can and will be healed. Perhaps, I am already; I only have to own it. I also walked away knowing that it is, perhaps, me in the way of my own healing. (Note: I am not saying this is true for any one but myself. I trust you to know what is best and true for you.)

The only way through (what and how things are) is by continuing to create and to walk forward; to just do what is inside of me to do, by following my heart. Perhaps, the bigger my fear, the more of the healing and reward that I can tap into. As I walk through any fear that shows up for me, I change, challenge and, perhaps, heal my life. I tap into and get closer to being and doing what I know I was born to do and which is now my calling to do professionally.

HELP PEOPLE OUT LOUD AND IN PERSON...

Doing it is the best answer. I am still stuck somewhat on the how to. I'm stuck in the fear of my own inability; my own physical ineptness. I'm stuck in the fear of failure. I'm stuck in the fear of not having enough physical energy. I'm stuck in the fear of not feeling good as so I wouldn't be able to carry on or through what I commit to. I know that I know 'things' of great value. I know that I can be helpful. I know that I care greatly. I have learned much when it comes to the human spirit and it's ability to ignite our true human body, mind and life to live from our soul out. I know how to connect to the inner depth of myself and others and to connect as one. In fact, I'm less afraid of the spirit and soul connection than I am of the human process that we all find ourselves involved in.

So, as my wish is to guide myself and others outside of our own 'building' (body); to let the building encapsulate us - yet, to prosper and grow our best of self during this thing called life/living - I am reminded that we must leave the building that we have built around our selves for protection and comfort and fly into some discomfort to get to all that we are; individually, together.

May you work from your soul to create the life that is happiest, best and most fulfilling while we are here ALIVE on this Earth. Work from the inner you out to know fulfillment, love of self and others, and completeness in the here and now. I believe it is always available to us. We only need to tap in and know that we are worthy, allowed, entitled and born with everything we need to be our most loving, fulfilled self. May we get in touch with it, get on with it and be it...

What is it that you know you are supposed to do next... May it be your time to do it.

(Unknown)

Live your life from your soul by being, bringing and living your truth from the inside out.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!