Be U

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Holy Moly

I have been doing some deep (I mean deep (look out!)) soul searching and connection more than ever to my inner child and where I am stuck as an adult and as me.

Whoa....

I've been to four different practitioners in the last two weeks for an accumulation of 7 hours of intense searching.

Whoo hoo.   Party up in here!.!?.!

They each have their own labels behind their name. They each stayed with me (at my emotional and information seeking 'pieces' of myself) and helped me with my continued, uninterrupted journey.

My journey into myself; into just being me; and my goal of living in peace amongst the chaos.

I believe I am continuously finding, developing and growing in the secret of this - the secret of this for me. There are many ways [I am thinking] to get to peace and the innermost depth of ourselves. This, apparently, is my way.

I threw a small and quiet tantrum on the massage table. I had to excuse myself from a therapy session so I could release anger in a loving way. I spoke of my truth and feelings the best that I could. I connected to Little Me in a way to thank her for her creativeness and her standing up for us at such a young age. I assured her that I am here now and that I can and will speak and share what we feel and know from the inside out. I have her with me for life and I am her protector and guardian.

I felt her face blend with my face and I practiced speaking my (our) easy truth that I have found hard to speak. I spoke from new lips; whole lips.

I felt my throat chakra tighten and constrict. I felt it loosen and let go.   I pushed through the fear of speaking what I want and knowing that - in and from my heart - ...

anything that I can and do conjure up, think about, connect to or feel is mine to own and mine to allow.

I deserve to have my needs met. I deserve to have needs. I stand strong in my needs. I am allowed to not feel pain. I am allowed to be happy when others are not. I am allowed to do, feel, be, act, just as it comes up for me to do so.

I don't need to say this for me as I am blessed to live it to my greatest ability... However, I feel the need here to say as long as it is loving, kind, no harm done to myself or outside of myself... I am allowed.

May you know that you are allowed to have your needs met. May you know that you deserve to have needs. May you stand strong in your needs. May you know that you are allowed to not feel pain. May you know that you are allowed to be happy even when others around you are not. You are allowed to do, feel, be, act whatever comes up for you from the inside out.

As long as it is kind, loving, no harm done to yourself or others... You are allowed.

Get that Allowing Yourself Freedom to Live from a place of Joy and Harmony On...

Energy - You

When I see people, I feel their energy.

When I saw this picture, I thought this is what people look like to me.

I can, mostly, see below (or is it above) the human 'mess' that we all can experience.

Before or after we experience being a human 'mess'... this is what we are..

Even during being a human 'mess', this is what we are.

Really, and perhaps, it is not a human 'mess' -- it is only being human. We are learning, growing, walking the unknown. This, just maybe, is exactly what we are supposed to be doing and experiencing.

Deep in our inner knowing, our breath and our being here on this earth, there is this... for me.

I believe it is there for you too. We only have to want it and choose it.

Shine on through and from all of your colors. Live from the knowing of what makes you you. You are a gift. You are here to do, be, live and breathe just as only you can. This is the only thing needed from you.

You are a miracle.

May you get your You on.. !!

Picture Unknown

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Perhaps, ... Allow

There is still continued and much change in the air as we experience our Spring Equinox Full Moon. I surely hope you get to/got to see it and connect to it in whatever way feels pleasant to you.

It is possible that some things inside of you are 'bubbling up' (feelings, thoughts, dreams) and need attention. It is possible that the attention just may have to come without making sense of what is happening or why you feel what you feel.

May I offer to give yourself permission to allow it, feel it, process it and move through whatever it is your are experiencing/feeling just now.

Allow what is inside of you to come up and out into the light through what you are and what you know. No need to put words to it, perhaps.   Just feel.

There is 'stuff' so deeply embedded within our own stories. This 'stuff' may be showing itself to you. It may be ready to come up and show itself. You may be ready to let it.

I feel I am learning and allowing self-validation. I got this phrase of 'self-validation' from seeing a beautiful red cardinal sitting on my fence outback and looking at me.

I went to the book "Animal Speak" by Ted Andrews and looked up 'cardinal'. It tells us that the cardinal may be reminding us that it could be time to "renew our vitality" and to accept a "new sense of our own true self-importance". It speaks of "listening to the inner voice (the feminine) more closely for our own health and well-being".

May you self validate what you feel, what you believe, what you know and what you are.   Self validate from a place of truth, kindness, strength and allowance.

As we believe and allow ourselves that we are whole, fear subsides and we find our self living on our best possible path in each situation.

Perhaps, this is fulfillment.

Perhaps, allow yourself to be fulfilled.   May you have the courage to allow your courage to set you free.

May you escape into your whole and true self through your courageous heart creating the fulfillment of yourself and your life.

Picture Unknown

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Go On

It is a beautiful, bright blue sky kind of day. The sun feels so good and warm on my skin. There is an energy about it that soothes and lifts.

I'm still dealing with nonsensical things when it comes to medicine for scleroderma and pain. Math tells me one answer, the insurance tells me a different answer. Math doesn't seem to matter here in this case of days of medicine scripted and days the computer has scripted that insurance will easily pay for. As I find myself offered a drug that is not made for scleroderma, insurance doesn't want to pay. I do understand it is an uncertainty if this drug will work for me. And, I've been on many of these in my lifetime.

And so I go on.

It is all I can do. Bring my true self to the situation and [lovingly] stand in my [firm] truth. See where it takes me.

I will be okay until I am not... if the 'not' part ever happens. I want to believe, love, and be open to ease. It just feels best inside of me and for me.

And so I go on.

May you go on. Go on as your true inner self allows and feels best. My wish for you.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Thank YOU

Thank YOU for connecting...

I am honored and grateful.

Russia

United States

Germany

Portugal

New Zealand

France

Romania

Syria

Poland

China

Turkey

We are all connected.

One big group hug!

I am honored for you to be a part of the group hug; if it feels right to you...

May we all give our own self a hug today and thank ourselves for doing our very best as we live our own lives individually; together.

YOU MATTER. I CARE.

Unknown

Monday, March 14, 2016

Space

I have been doing my best to give myself 'space' to create and offer myself what it is I think my body is asking for. With the time change (we moved our clocks ahead one hour this past weekend). Something ignited within me to get me off-kilter; off-centered.

I awoke at 2 a.m. and felt certain it was already 6 a.m. I stayed up for 2-1/2 hours reading and then fell back asleep.

My little Tiffany dog woke me up to go outside and eat around 9 am. Before I knew it, just a few minutes later, I found myself back in bed and there until 2 p.m. Yikes!

I woke up thinking - 'don't let anything warm my chill'... lol I am in 'chillin' mode. It feels wonderful to just do something because it is the only thing I want to do. Man, the power in this! (and for me to want to be 'chill' and not 'warm' is a miracle in itself)

So, on 'Facebook' this morning, I posted this...

May you find the 'space' that fulfills and uplifts you. May you easily give yourself what you need/want. Give yourself the kindness that you desire in your life. As we are content, we more easily share contentment with others. How cool is this!

May you not let anything warm your chill when you have it... Ha! May you get your contentment on!

Photo by Janet

Friday, March 11, 2016

Fire

As you are your inner self out in your world, you ignite the fire within to flame without.

When you give yourself permission to breathe, know, be, and share who you are from the deepest part of yourself, you give others permission and you, just maybe, empower the world to be its best.

Everything we need for this life that we are living, we already have inside of us; to connect us and walk us through our whole lifetime.

....

I have nothing really to offer here. I'm just trying and/or forcing myself to come up with something because I want the connection. I want to share. I want to feel like I am giving and feel productive and worthy. So, I start with what is on my mind. And, I feel myself somewhat pushing out words instead of allowing them to just flow.

This is new to me just now. Having silence in sharing is new. Having silence because I really don't have anything to say or share is interesting.

I let myself sit in this silence. This feels so much easier than 'pushing' out words.

May you choose the easy side of living you as often as possible. It just may create the best of you; the truth of you; and the awesomeness of you...

YOU and our world is worth it to try... Give yourself permission to let your life be easy; to look at your life as being easy.

See where you go with it. See how it feels.

May you give yourself permission to just be you; easily.

Unknown

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!