It's a rainy here today. Dark, and dreary. However, the colors of summer are very present and almost popping out of the gloominess at me. Beautiful.
I'm venturing out to have brunch with a friend while the workers are here and keeping my home beautiful for me.
They'll look after the dogs and take care of things. I can trust them explicitly. How lucky I am. I don't have to do it all myself. In fact, they do most of it. I am very grateful. (good cognitive thinking! - oh yeah!) AND, it feels so much better 'on' me.
My wish for you today is, IF you feel yourself feeling weighed down by a thought, perhaps, you can change the thought up a bit with different words and see how this one feels on you AND pick the thought that feels the best.
YOU HAVE THE POWER.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
3
I have been noticing the number 3 or 33 or things adding up to 3... just 3's alot lately. Today we were talking about 3 and my friend told me that 3 can represent completion.
1 is awareness
2 is change
and 3 is completion of this awareness and change. (This is a good friend that makes things up to help me...? ha)
I feel I entered into a deeper me today.
I just noticed that today's date is the 3rd. (too funny) Fun if nothing else. Mmmm
May you learn something today that you didn't know before that will bring you closer to Being You; to Living You; to Sharing YOU. (uh oh - there is the 3 again! lol)
*** Below was added 8/4/2011
AND, I realized yesterday that it has been 33 years I have been living with the sores and discomfort (putting it mildly) of scleroderma. First noticed it in 1978 and it is 2011. Crazy, huh.....whatever it means
1 is awareness
2 is change
and 3 is completion of this awareness and change. (This is a good friend that makes things up to help me...? ha)
I feel I entered into a deeper me today.
I just noticed that today's date is the 3rd. (too funny) Fun if nothing else. Mmmm
May you learn something today that you didn't know before that will bring you closer to Being You; to Living You; to Sharing YOU. (uh oh - there is the 3 again! lol)
*** Below was added 8/4/2011
AND, I realized yesterday that it has been 33 years I have been living with the sores and discomfort (putting it mildly) of scleroderma. First noticed it in 1978 and it is 2011. Crazy, huh.....whatever it means
Wiped Out
This, getting to our brilliance, is a lot of energy. I'm exhausted. Had a great session. 2.5 hours.
Again, I cried, I laughed, I made weird noises, I let my body move the way it wanted to. This time I experienced shame, however. This time we went where we had never gone before. I currently feel the indent in the keys on the keyboard. I feel and can pinch my skin where I could not before.
I started off saying that I'd like to know why I always cover my my eyes and my forehead from time to time during this work. Today, everytime I realized I started doing this - I said outloud that I'm not going to be afraid, I want to know 'this'.
Shame came up big for me. It didn't feel like my shame. It felt like shame that I was around that other people maybe felt and I owned it as my own. I was connected to a fakeness about it. I think, for me, maybe it was. A lot of my neck and lower core/hip area seemed to open up and relax. We were in deep. We were able to open up my back. I know a song came up for me; I do not remember what I sang. In fact, I don't remember alot of what was said and felt.
I do know that my therapist put out there in the beginning - it doesn't matter what we know or what we remember - let's just let it go. I think something inside me decided to just let know (I mean just let go -typing error that I chose not to fix, ha) and not spend the energy on remembering what went on.
I'd love to be able to share details. I guess it's not important that I do.
I wish for you to JUST LET "KNOW" work for you today. Allow your inner knowing to guide you.
May peace be in your heart today.
Again, I cried, I laughed, I made weird noises, I let my body move the way it wanted to. This time I experienced shame, however. This time we went where we had never gone before. I currently feel the indent in the keys on the keyboard. I feel and can pinch my skin where I could not before.
I started off saying that I'd like to know why I always cover my my eyes and my forehead from time to time during this work. Today, everytime I realized I started doing this - I said outloud that I'm not going to be afraid, I want to know 'this'.
Shame came up big for me. It didn't feel like my shame. It felt like shame that I was around that other people maybe felt and I owned it as my own. I was connected to a fakeness about it. I think, for me, maybe it was. A lot of my neck and lower core/hip area seemed to open up and relax. We were in deep. We were able to open up my back. I know a song came up for me; I do not remember what I sang. In fact, I don't remember alot of what was said and felt.
I do know that my therapist put out there in the beginning - it doesn't matter what we know or what we remember - let's just let it go. I think something inside me decided to just let know (I mean just let go -typing error that I chose not to fix, ha) and not spend the energy on remembering what went on.
I'd love to be able to share details. I guess it's not important that I do.
I wish for you to JUST LET "KNOW" work for you today. Allow your inner knowing to guide you.
May peace be in your heart today.
Beautiful Morning
What a beautiful morning to wake up to. 75 deg. sunny, fresh air. The fish are all swarming in the water waiting to be fed. The fish in the tanks are doing the same. The birds are giving the wolf whistle and chirping as I put their music on.
The cats are here hanging out. The dogs are all over. One is out front waiting for his walk. Two are here at my feet and the fourth is in a dog bed.
I'm waiting for my Energy Therapist. 10 years ago when I met this brilliant lady she came with the title massage therapist. Today, I am changing the title to energy therapist. It is not a relax the muscles, let go and unwind and be quiet and calm session. It is what are you feeling and thinking and wanting to run from session for me. I get a little nervous before we start because I'm not sure I'm going to want to feel what comes up.
I'm always ok. In fact, I'm always BETTER after processing these feelings. I'm holding on to them because I thought feeling them would be rough. And, it isn't easy and they are JUST FEELINGS. I don't want to be afraid of them anymore.
I'm older, wiser and KNOW that I can survive my feelings. I have learned it's best to just feel them, honor them and let them ride through me and presto, they are gone! It's a beautiful thing; just like this beautiful day.
Here one minute; gone the next.
May you let yourself be where you truly are.
Can you see the butterfly on the first on the three in a row, going in the same direction flower?
The cats are here hanging out. The dogs are all over. One is out front waiting for his walk. Two are here at my feet and the fourth is in a dog bed.
I'm waiting for my Energy Therapist. 10 years ago when I met this brilliant lady she came with the title massage therapist. Today, I am changing the title to energy therapist. It is not a relax the muscles, let go and unwind and be quiet and calm session. It is what are you feeling and thinking and wanting to run from session for me. I get a little nervous before we start because I'm not sure I'm going to want to feel what comes up.
I'm always ok. In fact, I'm always BETTER after processing these feelings. I'm holding on to them because I thought feeling them would be rough. And, it isn't easy and they are JUST FEELINGS. I don't want to be afraid of them anymore.
I'm older, wiser and KNOW that I can survive my feelings. I have learned it's best to just feel them, honor them and let them ride through me and presto, they are gone! It's a beautiful thing; just like this beautiful day.
Here one minute; gone the next.
May you let yourself be where you truly are.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Scattered Thinking
I have scattered thinking. I'd love to try to figure out why. However, with scattered thinking; I'm thinking I better not try to figure out anything at all just now. (see? lol)
I accept my scattered thinking and am just going to roll with it. (oh, I'm getting so good at accepting!) Ha. right in this minute anyway!
May you trust and accept that where you are at, is just where you need to be.
I accept my scattered thinking and am just going to roll with it. (oh, I'm getting so good at accepting!) Ha. right in this minute anyway!
May you trust and accept that where you are at, is just where you need to be.
Number 9
"Number 9 is the most humanitarian of all numbers.
You most likely have some of the following strengths and talents at your disposal if the number 9 appears in your numerology chart:
You are socially conscious, concerned about the betterment of the world, idealistic, visionary, tolerant, imaginative and creative, compassionate, romantic, selfless and generous. are also giving, sharing, loving, caring, noble and aristocratic.
You don't mind sacrificing time, money and energy for a better world. You usually finish what you start and you are ready to sacrifice without the need for reward.
Here are some of the career choices that might suit you particularly well if the number 9 is predominant in your chart:
Designer, photographer, politician, lawyer, teacher, healer, statesperson, writer, philosopher, artist.
Some of the following weaknesses, which are associated with the number 9, could slow down or even prevent your progress. But don't worry, it's very unlikely that all of the listed characteristics are part of your personality.
Most probably, only one or a few of them will belong to you:
You can be aloof, withdrawn, distracted, possessive, moody, timid and uncertain. You are often unsatisfied with achieved results and you might get disappointed with life's realities. You also tend to be careless with your finances."
*Taken from spiritual-numerology.com.
May you choose to focus on your strengths today.
I have been drawn to the number nine as far back as I can remember. I'd say, yes, this is me. Weaknesses and Strengths.
You most likely have some of the following strengths and talents at your disposal if the number 9 appears in your numerology chart:
You are socially conscious, concerned about the betterment of the world, idealistic, visionary, tolerant, imaginative and creative, compassionate, romantic, selfless and generous. are also giving, sharing, loving, caring, noble and aristocratic.
You don't mind sacrificing time, money and energy for a better world. You usually finish what you start and you are ready to sacrifice without the need for reward.
Here are some of the career choices that might suit you particularly well if the number 9 is predominant in your chart:
Designer, photographer, politician, lawyer, teacher, healer, statesperson, writer, philosopher, artist.
Some of the following weaknesses, which are associated with the number 9, could slow down or even prevent your progress. But don't worry, it's very unlikely that all of the listed characteristics are part of your personality.
Most probably, only one or a few of them will belong to you:
You can be aloof, withdrawn, distracted, possessive, moody, timid and uncertain. You are often unsatisfied with achieved results and you might get disappointed with life's realities. You also tend to be careless with your finances."
*Taken from spiritual-numerology.com.
May you choose to focus on your strengths today.
I have been drawn to the number nine as far back as I can remember. I'd say, yes, this is me. Weaknesses and Strengths.
Turmoil
I am very good at creating turmoil in my head. I know what works for me and so afraid of hurting others or disappointing others that I've gotten pretty good at disappointing and disregarding myself.
I get so stuck in my head (big surprise) that I get paralyzed to take action.
My brain shuts down at times.
I am in the dilemna of helping a young boy, getting my workers up and running, having lunch with a friend, being here for my dogs and other animals, taking inventory of house repairs, arranging and/or participating in acquiring tickets to a concert, calling an aging aunt and spending time with her....that I just find myself frozen to know how to shift and sort and manage and perform.
If everyone should have such problems, right? Perhaps THIS question right here is the one that gives me the most .... I can't even come up with the words ... problem; stone-like.
I don't feel entitled to these type of problems. I think I deserve or should have much harder problems. 'People would die to have problems as wonderful as these'....AND this is truly what I'm struggling with. Wish I would just OWN IT and get on with it.
Or do I have trouble with all of it because of my lack of energy that I keep telling myself I have (or don't have). Or do I want to hide out of shame of not being as strong or able to do the easy things that most others can do with their hands. Probably all of the above.
What is stopping me from just getting on the horse and jumping over this last fence and me choosing to live my life with enthusiasm, pleasure and trust.
What creates this turmoil in my head? If it's being human; not sure I want it right now in this minute! Ha.
Is it possible that you (help to) create (some of) the turmoil you are experiencing?
I get so stuck in my head (big surprise) that I get paralyzed to take action.
My brain shuts down at times.
I am in the dilemna of helping a young boy, getting my workers up and running, having lunch with a friend, being here for my dogs and other animals, taking inventory of house repairs, arranging and/or participating in acquiring tickets to a concert, calling an aging aunt and spending time with her....that I just find myself frozen to know how to shift and sort and manage and perform.
If everyone should have such problems, right? Perhaps THIS question right here is the one that gives me the most .... I can't even come up with the words ... problem; stone-like.
I don't feel entitled to these type of problems. I think I deserve or should have much harder problems. 'People would die to have problems as wonderful as these'....AND this is truly what I'm struggling with. Wish I would just OWN IT and get on with it.
Or do I have trouble with all of it because of my lack of energy that I keep telling myself I have (or don't have). Or do I want to hide out of shame of not being as strong or able to do the easy things that most others can do with their hands. Probably all of the above.
What is stopping me from just getting on the horse and jumping over this last fence and me choosing to live my life with enthusiasm, pleasure and trust.
What creates this turmoil in my head? If it's being human; not sure I want it right now in this minute! Ha.
Is it possible that you (help to) create (some of) the turmoil you are experiencing?
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