Be U

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Resume

Well, I'm typing up a resume. !! It's not an 'old school' resume. It's not how I used to do things, completely anyway.

I am typing it as my real truth, my real strengths and what I truly seek. Yes, I feel a bit wacky doing it. Yes, I feel completely me.

I have to start somewhere. So, I will start where I know how to and be open and honest and willing to work to offer the best service I am capable of.

Crazy. Exciting. Scary. Ready.

See what happens. I actually started this in May; I am finishing it now in September '12.

There has to be someone on my wavelength, no? Ha.

May you send out and live on your own wavelength and may you find others with the same interests, strengths, love and goals that can connect you to what truly makes you and others happy.

Now, this would be a hoot. I believe it happens everyday.

May it happen to you if you want it!

Cutting a Branch

I was just out back cutting a large branch off one of the trees because it had white mites eating it alive. All of its leaves were dropping off. In order to save the tree, this branch had to go. The spray that we were using was not working.

Sometimes I have to let go and disengage from certain things that are 'dis-eased' to me. When I let this portion or thing go, I have more strength to continue forward with good growth and beautiful-ness that can become abundant again.

So, as I let go of what weighs me down and no longer strengthens me, I hope and think that many things will come along that will help me to fly to new heights.

What no longer makes me happy, let it go. Just because it did make me happy, or I've known it for so long, is not a reason to let it linger in my life.

May you be done with things lingering in your life that weigh you down. May you cut them out as you reach for your goals! Ha.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Got Nothing

I've nothing to report; nothing to write; nothing to share. Nothingness is where I am currently at. It's a peaceful place. A place of wonder; a place of accepting what is. I'm not searching for or running from anything in this moment. I'm completely present in this moment.

I see the little light coming in the windows. I see darkness here in the house. My dogs are around me. I see them and I hear them breathing. I feel their presence. My husband is in the kitchen with the water running at the sink. I hear the hum of the air purifier. I feel the air conditioner blowing the air around. I feel the seat as to which I'm sitting on. It's comfy and cushiony. Ha!

The rain is coming down in straight quick lines. Puddles are accumulating. Birds are at the bird feeders. I'm thinking some worms are going to come out for a peak. They better look out for the birds!

So, as I state that I'm in a form of nothingness; I see this isn't really true. There is no drama going on. There is no problem that I need to attend to. There is nothing I have to do. Yet, in reality, there is plenty going on.

So, just maybe, from nothingness comes the truth of what is. Ahhh, I like this.

May you know nothingness today.

End of Summer

It's official. Labor Day represents the end of summer here in the Northeast United States. Lots of parties, swimming and food is usually on the agenda for this holiday weekend.

I used to get Memorial Day and Labor Day, beginning and ending of summer fun, mixed up. Then I realized Memorial Day was in May and Labor Day was in September; May for Memorial Day. I like Memorial Day best! Fall is a beautiful time of year here. The temperatures get cooler and still comfortable for me and the leaves on the trees turn yellow, red, orange and brown. The leaves 'snow' from the trees. It's beautiful.

Winter is beautiful too. But, for me, from the inside looking out works best. Brrrr. I'm not quite ready to go here.

It's still very dark here and rainy. Summer is certainly saying goodbye. I do believe it will be here for quite a while temperature-wise however. September was always my favorite time at the beach in New Jersey. The crowds are gone and the weather is lovely. I lived 10 years at the beach and there was not one day that I didn't take in the beauty. I'll be back there one day.

Until then, I have my pond, pool and comfort of my home. I have wonderful family and great friends close by.

I guess I'm feeling a bit melancholy on this morning of Labor Day. One friend wrote me to have a nice Labor Day without labor. Pretty clever she is! lol

So, now, I wish you a happy Labor Day without labor wherever you are, whatever you are doing.

May you allow your life to unfold with ease, trust and knowing that you will be okay no matter what comes your way. Enjoy today, it will never come again.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Post

I've fallen out of sync here with my blog. I think I'm tired of typing the same old stuff and words are not flying from my fingers.

I'm a bit irritable with life. One moment I'm excited and think that I'm unstoppable and the next I'm feeling stopped in my tracks. Hence, irritability.

There are so many possibilities within my reach and I'm not sure I remember how to reach for them. It's a very dark and rainy day today. The dogs have energy that they'd like to expend and with the heavy rain coming down, none of them want to be out in it.

I am recuperating from the long unknowing week I just survived and I am more aware and more alive than I previously was. I'm just realizing this now.

I saw a movie today in the theatre and also did grocery shopping. The stores were filled with people busying doing their thing.

The world feels different to me. I'm not sure of my part in it yet. I know I want to be in it. This is good I suppose! Ha.

So, I'm just 'being' and sharing life with myself and others and it's a good day. It's a good day because it's not a bad day.... or something like that!

May you enjoy yourself (and others) having a good day today.

Courage

Courage -"the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc.,without fear; bravery" dictionary.com

I realize that when I am just hanging and have no issues and being still, I feel my courage evaporate at times. I feel fearful even. I realize that when there is something for me to handle, face and walk through, my courage is always with me.

My courage always steps up whenever there is a need for it. I want to stop looking for it when there is no need for it. I don't know why I do this, is it fear of not being enough in future circumstances? when, in truth, I always am enough as circumstances arise. Perhaps, this is another good time to 'be here now'. If I am here in this moment, I do not have to worry about if I'll be enough moving forward. I am 'enough' here now.

May you know that your courage is always with you; always a part of you. You are always enough.

I am perfect with my imperfections. I am imperfect and it's okay.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Trying Something New

Today is a great day to try something new. Whether it be a new movement, a new food, a new place or a new idea. A new connection with someone is always exciting as well.

With all the world our own, there are so many things to try; so many things to do; so many places to see.

I'm starting to work on my outer appearance once again. I just got my hair done, I'm getting new make-up, some new garments, I have an appointment with a dermatologist and pretty soon my mouthwork will be completed. Oh la la.

I want to feel good about my outer appearance, my first impression -- the 'me' I present to the world. All this internal work has left my external look alone for a long time.

Here, once again, balance may just be key to unlocking all of me.

May you focus on learning, listening, letting something new into your life today. This 'something' may just delight you. My hope is that it does!

Great Adventure Safari, Jackson, New Jersey

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!