Be U: Tis the Season

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Tis the Season

It is the Christmas season as the month of December moves onward towards the end of the year.

Christians celebrate Christmas and the birth of Jesus. Many get caught up in the gifts; shopping, wrapping, socializing, festivities and togetherness.

It can feel like a special time of year. A time of goodwill and cheer; kindness and giving and receiving. It can feel and be magical and fill our souls.

It can also bring up old and dormant issues and the 'shoulds' and 'supposed tos' with expectations and anticipation.

I'd like to offer for you, if you celebrate, to celebrate from where you are. Celebrate through who you are and what you are experiencing and let pretense be gone and truth take over.

Give what and if it is in your heart and ability to give. Give gifts. Give of yourself. Give of your service. Give the loving truth of you.

Be true to where you are and be true to how you feel. Be true to what you know. Be true to what is showing up inside of you.

As we celebrate Christmas from the truth of our self, we empower the celebration, the connection, the togetherness and one another.

Speak up with how you'd like to celebrate. Speak up with calmness and love. Speak up with the truth of yourself.

Sharing love, self and inner joy is what Christmas spirit is to me. Each year is different. If being traditional is what works for you from the truth of yourself, then be traditional. If creating new paths to celebration because you are in a new space, place and/or truth, then create these.

As you are, so is Christmas.

This is the joy of Christmas to me. This is the fulfillment of giving to me. This is the empowering of one another to me.

Do not expect, be open to acceptance. Accept yourself. Accept others.

In our ability of honesty, we know calm, peace, joy and ease.

May you know calm, peace, joy and ease.

May you be open to your own kindness, light, ability, inabilities and the truth of self.

Merry Christmas time. Let it be a time brought forth from where you are today. Let love lead you. Let truth carry you. Let Christmas be Christmas as it fulfills your senses that are open to be fulfilled. Let it not lead you away from yourself but towards yourself.

As you are more home within yourself, the 'home' that is you is a most welcoming thing. Be welcoming... to the best of your ability. Opening your heart is the best gift you have; just maybe...

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!