Be U: Owning

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Owning

Owning.   It is a peculiar word to me just now.

I want to 'talk' about owning who we are; owning what we are; owning what we do; owning what we say.

Owning what we feel.   Allowing ourselves to feel what comes up for us to feel.

Many of us want to squelch what we feel when we think it is not a good or a fun feeling. We want to stop any and all pain within ourselves and to our bodies.

Just what if our feelings were 'just' feelings and if felt, they would lead us down our best path forward.

Just what if our feelings are here to guide us 'home' to our true selves.

For years, (decades even), I wanted to pretend that I was like everyone else. That pain wouldn't stop me. That I can handle pain. That I can fight pain. That I can pretend that pain wasn't a part of me or my life.

I am learning that when I do feel pain to feel it and almost embrace it is the best way through it and to the other side of it.

Fighting it just created more, deeper, and 'louder' pain. Fighting it made me think of it as a bad thing; as something that didn't belong.

Just what if pain is just a sensation. Feelings are just sensations.   There is no good or bad. Just what if.

Perhaps, we, as humans, decided or learned to label our feelings.

Just what if we didn't label them but felt them, listened to them, processed them and let them go.

I know it isn't always easy; it doesn't always work.

Fighting doesn't always work either.

May you find what works best for you from situation to situation and live just this.

Be true to your feelings. They are present for a reason. They do not show up just because. They show up for real reasons.

They are a part of us; a part of life.

May you embrace all of you; all of your experiences and live. Live on. Live through. Let love lead you.

It just may be worth a try. Allow the 'sensations' that come up for you to be yours - own them. See where they lead you. Allow self-love, self-care and self-compassion to be present through it all.

This just may be the most productive and enlightened way to live.   Do what works for you.

Baby steps allowed. Course changes allowed. Trials and errors allowed.

Love yourself. Own yourself.   You are the only person ever that you will spend your entire lifetime with.

May you be your own best friend.

My wish for you.

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!