Be U: Meant to Be

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Meant to Be

We are making settlement on a house at the end of this month. Whew! I am ready. It is past time and I will be challenged to make an older home mine as I've never purchased a home that wasn't in 'move right on in condition' or built from the ground up. This will be very interesting. 'Never say never' and go with what works best for your life now. I am responding to my truth as best I can.

I am not buying 'my' house.   We are buying our house.

It is in the community I want and it has everything I need. Woo Hoo.   I am blessed and I am ready.

We went shopping for a new front door.  This was very exciting for me! It feels like the entrance to our house is being 'set'.  The door we are choosing reminds me of living 'full circle' and the 'circle of life'. It reminds me of a 'band of love'. It offsets the slanted ceilings that I am having a hard time embracing and the wood is warm and inviting.

It wasn't just about the 'door' yesterday.   It was about creating a door to a new life, a new beginning, a fresh start.   Leaving what 'was' behind and creating what will be going forward.

It brought joy, peace, inner knowing and hope together for a wonderful new, next chapter for my family and me.

This time of my life does not FEEL like the most peaceful, easy time. It does feel like the most truthful, follow one's inner knowing time; and bring everything that I am into every situation that presents itself time.

This is not being done from the mode of 'auto pilot', it is working from the mode of what is my truth and how do I truthfully and lovingly present myself; be heard and hear others. The time is now.  Living and sharing the truth of each other is what will propel us to our best and ultimate self so our best and ultimate life will be lived.

Woo hoo; oh my; look out; yikes; and hip hip hooray.

May you connect to your best and ultimate self from deep within and allow your best and ultimate life be created from this truth of what is you, what is your situation, who are the people in your life and how you react to all of it.

My wish is if you find yourself not 'feeling' peaceful from within - - STOP, take a few deep breaths, refocus/ regroup by asking yourself what is your goal in this moment and move outward from this place within yourself as the person you are meant to be. Yay. How exciting this can be!

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!