Be U

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Monday, September 29, 2014

The Fight Within

I am pushing forward into and onto my 'happy'. I am having resistance from the part of me that isn't sure how deserving I am; what makes me happy; and I hear this voice that is questioning who am I to be happy.

As I pursue my happy, the resistance steps up as dizziness, confusion and even dis-ease. I will acknowledge whatever comes up and step back and watch it and know that it is not ME. It is either old habits, some kind of protection from danger (perceived or real) and just stepping out of where I've been to where I'm creating I am going. My new mentor; the intuitive healer has helped me to put words to this resistance within.

Parts of my body and mind are content where we are. We know that where we are we can do and be okay; survive. When stepping into the new or unknown, there is a uncertainty of safety and success is inevitable. Resistance steps in to question same, perhaps.

The discomfort is or can be a gift. It can be a sign that change is coming and/or inevitable. It can be a question as to step in and acknowledge and feel/see/create the next step with awareness and self empowerment.

This being human is not easy for me. And, yet, I know this being human is why I am... human that is. This is the reason we are all here - to experience this life and all it's ups/downs, highs/lows, ins/outs, etc.

To experience and allow the experience with trust of self is to win at being human.

May you experience. May you win at being human. Stay present. Stay in your truth. Trust the process that shows itself to you. It is there for you and present for real reasons. In this trust and presence, life unfolds into the most magical experience of YOU.

May you experience the magic of you; again and again and again. The process is what living is all about. Walk through. 'Through' is the moment of living. It is the living.

What Feels True

This was my horoscope last week before I met with the 'Intuitive Healer'. I was nervous and excited. I was weary and hopeful.

Taurus last week:

"Opportunities to make a fresh start regarding work and lifestyle issues show up this week as the New Moon urges you on." "An upbeat influence could bring inspirational thoughts or "even enhance the possibility of personal healing". horoscope.com

The 'healer' was very helpful in supporting what I knew I needed to do to proceed forward. Just having someone listen and support what we are feeling is such a gift. This is what he did for me along with giving me encouragement to believe in myself and what is inside of myself to do. He helped me to connect to my own permission to allow, embrace and do exactly what makes me happy.

May you find your own permission to allow, embrace and do exactly what makes you happy. I support you on.

You are allowed to be happy. In fact, it is your responsibility to be just that... happy! May you connect to your happy. Baby steps allowed. Giant leaps welcomed.

Unknown

Creating what Will Be

As I become more and more 'in tune' with my feelings, my thoughts, my desires in life and what I don't want to live/be like, I still find and connect to all the emotions of being human.

I feel less 'shocked' by things and situations and less threatened by the emotions that I have taught myself are 'bad' or don't feel good.

I embrace the easier, feel good side of things and I am learning to embrace the less easy, 'hard' feelings as well. I am learning there is growth and 'prosperity' in all. I am learning that, perhaps, the 'lessons' are even more 'propelling' with the less fun feelings than the wonderful feelings.

I can choose to feel and embrace all of it as myself. With who I am, and living and experiencing who I am, I am experiencing my life as only I can.

Each of our journeys is specifically designed for each one of us.

May you allow your journey to unfold with as much ease, awareness and acceptance as possible. May you allow all of yourself to participate.

I support you on this very journey.

Journey on.

Unknown

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Around the World; Do You Feel It

Our world is changing. The people of our world are changing. We are in change. We are not what we were. We are not who we will be. We are being called to 'wake up' and feel. We are being called to 'wake up' and know that we are breathing.

We are being called to 'wake up' and connect to the depth of our self and within and without the depth of one another.

This is no easy task. This takes (possibly) great change [or is it just owning who we are fully] within each one of us. This takes awareness, empathy, understanding and open mind along with an open heart.

It is in me. It is in you. It is you. It is me.

How exciting. How scary. How strange. How the flow is just here to tap into.

Are you feeling it....

May you allow yourself to tap into the greatest part of you and allow what is to flow through you and allow yourself to flow out from every cell in your body to share the most real you that you know.

Yikes. Woo hoo. Oh no. Oh yes. How exciting that we are all here together at this time to create and live in this moment of unlimited possibilities.

I want to thank the following countries for 'visiting' me recently. I want to wish you all easy connection to your ability to tap into your self and the love, light and 'knowing' that is you. You are needed. You matter. You are enough. Thank you for being you.

Russia
United States
France
Romania
Germany
Nigeria
China
United Kingdom
Turkey

May we all unite within and without. Namaste'

Hands

My hands are talking to me loud this morning. They are swollen and sad. They hurt and are cold; dry and beaten.

My body is anxious. Is it habitual...

I feel the chair underneath me only because I choose to. What is more apparent is wanting of movement of the stagnation in my arms. An unwillingness to let go and just be. Perhaps, a lack of knowledge as to how.

I know frustration and grief as I find myself here again -- with sores on my fingers. It has been two years (I think) since I have had such pain. I remember it well. I do not find it welcoming.

I hear the 'fight' inside of myself that I thought I was past this. I 'should' be doing better than this. I've worked so hard.

Perhaps, it is time (again) to not work at getting better. Perhaps, it is time to acknowledge and connect to acceptance of what is. Oh, this is not who I am and yet being who I am creates sores....   or does it...

I am lost in the human self of pain and frustration. I know there is much more to my human experience.   I am grateful for all the joy I have known.

Just what if feeling pain and frustration is just as 'bountiful' as the feeling of joy and delight.

Without pain and frustration, I would not change because I would be in comfort. Without joy and delight, how would I know what I want to achieve.

These are all just human traits; human experiences.   I'm sure you can list a bunch more.

Just what if, we all ebb and flow. We all have highs and lows. We all are 'entitled' to same; responsible for same.

This is living. This is the human experience.

My goal is to bring my truest of self into each of these experiences and thrive as me with every breath I take.

May you bring your truest of self into each of your experiences and thrive as you with every breath you take.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Here

We all are here now, where we are, doing what we are doing, having the human experience. It is not always an easy experience. In fact, it can feel very hard.

'Hard' happens when we don't want what is to be so; when our minds tell us things 'should' be different.

When I accept what is as it is, 'easy' is what I know.

May you know easy....

Monday, September 22, 2014

Contacts.... Not

Well, the contacts for my eyes do not work... The 'contact doctor' could not get one in my eye. I knew if she could not do it, there would be no way I could.

My skin around my eyes is too tight - (I won't need a facelift!). And, I won't be able to wear contacts; just now anyway.

I achieved my goal. I have learned that they do not work for me. I purchased a new pair of glasses. A very cool, hot pair of black, bling glasses. Oh la la. What fun!

It is better to know what I am dealing with than wonder what is possible (and not) for me.

May you learn what it is you need to learn to move on from where you are; to not be stuck in one place for too long. Process forward into your truest of self and truest of life and let all of you and your life be okay. Yay you!

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!