Achy Breaky

The temperature has dropped 20 degrees.  My body knows this.  I feel an uncomfortableness through my body.  I am so used to this feeling.  I usually don't welcome it.  Today, I feel like I am welcoming it.  I have no clue why.  I'm not liking it, but I am welcoming it.

The muscles feel like they are tense and tired.  My hands are not purple.  This is different news.  The achiness is so loud.  My thoughts go to taking a pain pill so I don't have to feel it.  And, it has been all morning and I have not taken enough to not feel it.  I have taken little. 

I am so very torn between taking medicine for the quiet, numbing affect and feeling what I feel.  Does the medicine make me feel things I don't want to feel...  Is it scleroderma making me feel certain ways... 

I no longer know.  To get help in deciphering this has been impossible for me.  I will still look for guidance and professional advice. 

I live in a world where the people that dispense medicine know the medicine is my best path.  The people that want to do alternative ways guide me into herbs, meditation, inner knowing.   I am uncertain which works for me as I've tried much and I still ache when it gets cold, especially so quickly.

So, what is a woman to do.  I walk on.  I breathe through.  I stay open to finding my best path as I live the path that is here for me to live.

Confusion is prevalent.  To continue to reach out and still be pained is difficult for me currently. 

I am where I am and I do what I do.  I love on and through and out and in.  It is all I know in this moment. 

May you be who you are in this moment.  May you connect to the love that is you.

                                                                Unknown

Download

I believe I'm getting a 'universal download' just now.  I believe I am, along with many people that I know.  I believe that you may be in the process of receiving the same as well.

By download, I mean, chaos, interruptions, being led to pay more attention to things, connecting more to our own truth, being brave enough to share this truth and feeling/thinking/being/walking into unknown territories as they present themselves to us as our true self.

Feelings in the body that may be unpleasant want our attention.  Feeling emotions and not sure what to do with them as I don't want to send them away or ignore them anymore.  Feeling like a shift in our lives may be taking place. 

Sometimes, it's about having way more information than I want and, sometimes, not being able to think clearly.  Way too much information going on up in here...!

I truly do not know.  I do believe that life IS different and this difference is, perhaps, the best time ever to build/create the life we want to live going forward from the inside out.

May you build your life that you want to live going forward from your inside out.  May you use all the 'tools' you have available to you and, creatively, 'be' the life you want to live.

                                                     Unknown

Fear

"Fear is a natural reaction we have when moving closer to the truth."  Pema Chodron

While I am noticing fear less and less in my life just now, I am noticing challenges, change and action into what propels me forward.

I do believe as we get closer to living and sharing our true self, fear does get louder (perhaps) because 'ego' wants to keep us where we are.  We (even though we may not like it)  know that we can live through what we are living through because we are doing such.

With change; the unknown, we are not quite as certain.  We are unsure if we can survive in different circumstances; different areas; different careers; different relationships; different thinking patterns ONLY because we have not done so.

I'm here to voice that YES WE CAN.  YES, we can survive in all kinds of circumstances, climates, changes, patterns, relationships, careers, etc.   YES WE CAN.   YES YOU CAN.

We survive until we do not.  We may as well thrive as best we can today.  Let go of the outside and inside 'noise' that is unhelpful.  If you find your mind going 'there' and it doesn't feel 'right', let your mind rest on what feels 'right'.  Breath is always right.  (just saying)

How do we know the difference -- does it feel real...  Is this what your circumstance truly is just now....  Do you know 100% for certain that this is the truth....

Go where you know reality, your true reality lies...   Breathe, feel and own your grandness through.  My hope is that we do not let anger, fear, or hurt put a false mask/cover on our life any more. 

I can only be open to achieving this in every breath I take.

May you achieve peace within so peace without is possible.

Cranium

My head is tingly.  My mind is dizzy.  My thoughts are incomplete.  My eyes are blurry.   My heart is deciding between open and closed today as every member of my family find their own way through the turmoil of boxes all over the home.  

I sit here with my bird, a lovely yellow cockatiel named 'Sunshine', chirping for me as she can not see me and it is close to her bedtime where I cover her cage with a light sheet.  She is calling for me to give her attention. 

...She was whistling non-stop so I went to her and gave her what she wants.  She is now quiet and, I suppose, happy!  Hoot.

It is quite cool here.  There is a slight chill in the air and it invigorates and enlivens me.  To know that it is cool and, yet, a long, cold, dreary winter is not around the corner is one of the greatest gifts I can give myself.  I have arrived!  Yes!

I still am surrounded by disorganization and change and I know that I am perfectly okay and on my right path. 

Never has it taken me so long to settle in to a house.  And, I feel in no hurry to have everything in its place.  I am honoring the change and my inability to process it all quickly.  Another great gift I give myself.  Woo hoo!

We turn the clock back tonight as in 'Fall back'.  It is now 6:22 p.m.  Tomorrow this time it will be 5:22 p.m.  Strange.  And it just is because a group of people get together and say it is so and a larger group of people accept it as so.   Does time really matter in the big scheme of things... 

Our world has grown and changed so greatly over the last few years because of the internet and the ability to connect to each other.  We contact people we never ever would've before this.  We are never alone.  There are very few places to hide.  When this part of the world ripples, it is now more apparent that the opposite side of the world ripples too and vice versa.  The information that is at our fingertips is astounding. 

We grow forward; together.  We support and 'grow on'.

May we live our best lives yet and live the full life that is inside of us to live.

                                                     Unknown

Knowing Nothing

It has been (what feels to me) a long time since I have posted.  I come with an empty mind and full heart. 

The weather has gotten cooler and it is more alive and less stagnant.  It is a wee bit crisp and lighter.  The skies are more blue and the greenery against it is beautiful as I look up at the dancing fronds of the palm and coconut trees that I love to watch.

My house is in small chaos with boxes all around again as I unpack the last round of my 'stuff'.  My hands are so sensitive I choose to only do a wee little bit at a time.  If it isn't easy, I'm letting it sit.  I do not have the drive or desire to continue to completion just now.  So, I sit in small chaos.  My human brain allows me to ignore it because I choose to. 

It is amazing how our human brains can ignore and/or not pay attention to things we choose.  The saying that there is an elephant in the room and no one talks or deals with it...  most of us humans are pretty good at letting it sit dormant and out of our thoughts. 

I had some "Be U" tank shirts made for my own enjoyment and I am enjoying them.   A rainbow of colors. 

I did not know fear about the upcoming winter weather this year!  Huge for me!  and peaceful.  I so love not having to think so much about fighting the elements of the cold weather, darkness and snow.  I am where I belong.  I know gratitude for this.  Peace is on inside of me where the weather is concerned.

I have all my fountains going in various parts of my home and I enjoy the flow of water and the sound of it trickling down stones, over crystals and through man made rock. 

The bird loves being out on the patio and the dogs love walking in the neighborhood as much as I.  My cat seems very content as well.  We are creating a home. 

We are one - my family and I and we are supporting each other to live our best lives individually; together as best we can for today.  We have made a pact to do so. 

We are settling in, albeit the hardest 'settle' I've experienced as far as moving into a home goes.  And, it is okay.

My beautiful home up north is still for sale and it weighs heavy.  I pray for a perfect buyer to come and love it as much as I did.  Can't make this stuff up....  So, I pray and wait and know that everything will work out in the time it is supposed to.  Even as I feel challenged with this, I trust it is where I'm supposed to be; what I'm supposed to experience. 

Wherever and whatever you are in your life,

May you know and trust that it is all for your higher good of the big picture of your life and you are always okay.

If you are great, may you enjoy every breath in one of the peaks in your life.  If your not feeling as fortunate just now, breathe every breath knowing that you are creating another peak and during this 'down time', it is your greatest opportunity to do so.  And so it is...

I wish you all 'inner knowing' and living your life from the inside out through love; together.

                                                         Unknown

Computer down

While they are digging fiber optics lines in my community, my internet connection is lost for unknown reasons. I accept and go with what is... especially if I know it is out of my control to change it.  

May I offer until we are back up and smoothly working again...

You have you.  You have proven it again and again.  In little easy ways and big extremely difficult last chance ways.   You have you.  Relax into who God/Creator made you to be.  No mistakes. Only God's/Creator's perfection.   

And so it is...  

May you give yourself permission to live you from the inside out.  Do not cross your wires.  Let all your true 'wiring' facilitate you forward!   Ha!  (I do crack myself up!  Lol). 

Greatness

I am having a bombardment of greatness!  Yay! 

I went to a 'Transformational Breathing' class last night and it was wonderful and exciting.  I saw myself not being certain if I want all this life energy up in here...  It feels scary and overwhelming; exciting and new as I tell myself, Yes!  Yes! I do want everything life has to offer me.

Today, I am going for a Cranial Sacral session.  I look very forward to unsticking the energy that is blocked between my heart and my mind.  My neck wants attention and I am hoping to give it some.

Tomorrow I have a call with an Intuitive Healer.

And, ooohhh, this is a big AND for me...

Tomorrow I am going to the "Life You Want Tour" in Miami with Oprah and her 'friends' as a guest of the tour.  I was offered via email to enter a sweepstakes for tickets.  I entered.  I was declined.  A few days later, I was offered two tickets.   WOW. 

My husband asked if I wanted to go and I had said, no, I do not want to meet Oprah that way...  And, here, now, are tickets in my possession. 

This is a big deal to me as I have many thoughts, aspirations and ideas where it comes to the wonderful work Oprah (et al) puts out into our world...  Growing your OWN is, perhaps, a good way to describe her work.  She offers insight into how to grow our own self...  THIS EXCITES ME SO....  Scares me some too...  Owning who we are is what excites me greatly.  I'm thinking You may already know this about me...  Ha. 

Oh, the webs of dilemmas, possibilities, and the process of life that I create out of my own head, heart, fear, love and truth.

I walk on.   I walk on right into the presence of many like minded and hungry for a better life peoples.  This is going to be great! 

May you walk on - right into what gives you great excitement.

                                                          Unknown