Be U: Burning Up

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Burning Up

I come here thinking that we all are burning up our old way of doing things and being almost forced to go forward in a different light, a different way; creating new paths to proceed onward.

As I type 'Burning Up', I think of the California, USA, wildfires and cannot imagine the distress, duress and terribleness that too many Californians are witnessing, living in and walking through the best they can. My love and prayers go out to all involved in any natural catastrophe as Mother Earth is also experiencing distress and duress.

Must we know this to do better... How much pain must we experience and feel to change... How much duress and distress do we have to be a part of to unite from a place of the love within each of us.

Everybody loves somebody. If we conjure up whatever amount of love we have and build upon each others' love, can't we let this love permeate and ensure Mother Earth, ourselves, our beliefs, our feelings and our experiences to respond and allow peace and love in the most favorable way... I want to think YES.

I've been going through a lot of new experiences lately. I've read where none of us really know 100% exactly what we are doing. I know that I do not. I do believe it isn't the easiest thing [to know all] especially with so much change, growth and visibility of all that is happening so out loud.

The kindness in people is still there. And, at times, it is buried under pain, angst, fear and uncertainty. It is still who the majority of us are. Kind.

May we together support where we are by even just experiencing our own smile with another from time to time. Wherever you can start, may you start from your love within.

May we just be, do, live and feel better. Open up to the betterment for all living creatures.

'Better' On...

You doing your part is the greatest thing you can offer, be, do and become.

It is time to lift each other up; every living thing.

Amen which means And so it is.

Amen. And so it is.

The mountains are crumbling along with gray clouds. Open paths are in front of us along with sunny skies.

May we keep our hearts and minds open to the greatness of the human race.

Thank You. Your part matters - without a doubt - in a big, big way to at least one person. And, I'm betting, perhaps, many more people than that. You alone are One. We can all be One connected to the source where love flows.

May love, peace, care and supporting one another win. Probably my forever and greatest wish.

My wish is for you to have whatever it is you hunger for. Love of self will get you there. Love of self and one another will get us all there.

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My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!