Be U: January 2025

Coming for the Real You.

I'm hoping to share thoughts, fun and insightful information and aha moments with all to better serve ourselves and the universe.

My background is that of Executive Secretary for the local Electric company (11 years).

Certified Personal Trainer (since 1991) and Fitness Consultant for my own company, Beachin Bodies (6 years) and certified in Reiki and Nutrition with training in Cranial Sacral work, Tai Chi, and Meditation. Certified as a Professional Life Coach (2015); Minister at Universal Life Church (2016);

and, possibly, most important,

my own journey through illness and avenues, roads and roadblocks that I have taken to find the real me. (35 plus years).

The me that I was born as. The me that is the all-knowing. I believe the search is endless and we are here to learn and to love and to share it all.

Thursday, January 2, 2025

Traveling Home

When I think of home, I think of an address, a place, a family and me.

When I think of being home, I think of feeling safe and supported to be who I am. Home to me is wherever I am living my true self from the core of who I am with other people.

That hasn't always worked out for me and there is something within me that knows it is my choice and responsibility to be 'home' wherever I am. It is my greatest gift to myself; and to others as it can invite others to be true to who they are. It is where and when I honor my Creator. It is where, when and what I have to offer is the best, greatest and most magical part of me. My most authentic self. It is a fulfillment, a contentment. It is one of my favorite feelings to fully live just being me.

Why it doesn't come natural at times is because I let fear of ridicule or hurt get in my way. Hurt for myself and not wanting to hurt another. I stop and/or hold back ME when I don't feel safe or when I do feel judged harshly from a non open-minded way; even my own. UnFun. Certainly not authentic. For any one.

We are here as unique individuals. We are here to learn from one another and to love one another. [At the very least, be kind. We all have our 'stuff'.] We are not here to hurt or suppress one another simply because it is not within our own 'home' repertoire. Just because I don't understand something, does not mean my/one way is the only way. Very likely there are many ways to the success of the human race, our environment and nature to live in harmony.

May you open to living in a harmonious way believing that there is more than one way to do so.

May you be happily surprised by what experiences show up as you live in the authenticity of You.

Open heart. Open mind. Truth. Trust. Honor.

"We are all just walking each other home." Ram Dass

Travel well my friend. Everything you need is inside of You.

May you know thyself. May you let love.

My Past Story

The first thing I would always tell a new doctor was 'my dad left me when I was 10'. He just disappeared, ran away. It was pretty awful for me. I thought it was my fault as most kids sometimes do. I thought I was unlovable. Years later, 20 maybe, I realized it wasn't just that my dad left me that affected my life, but also that my mom stayed. She stayed and I'll be forever grateful. However, her staying wasn't all peaches and creme. She was so hurt, so distraught, so frightened to raise three kids on her own and find a job that it was very hard for her to be there for me and my needs. I chose to shutdown, be quiet and try not to make it any harder on her as to not ask for much, or voice much, or need much.

Years later, in 11/12th grade, I noticed my fingers being really cold and hurting all the time. I noticed them turning purple and the pain was very 'loud'. Humorously enough, I had chosen to be a secretary and typing was a big part of my everyday. I loved it even. Fingers flying across the keyboard with as little mistakes as possible was the goal. I was pretty good at it. While in typing class, I remember putting my hands on my neck to try to warm them and make them feel better. I was naive enough then to think this must be happening to everyone.

Anyway, years went by and nobody was able to tell me why this was happening or what to do to make it better. Then, approximately 4 years later, I remember (what I felt) was little me sitting across from a really big doctor at his really big desk and him telling me I was allergic to myself. Of course, this was him describing to me what auto-immune meant. I had a disease called scleroderma and it could kill me (sometimes in as little as five years) and I would most likely be on medicine and have it for the rest of my life and there was nothing to change it.

Anyway, almost 30 years later, I've had my share of pain and I'm alive. I've had ulcerations on my fingers and I have lost most of my nails on both hands from lack of circulation and producing too much collagen. My hands are somewhat not a pretty sight and to hit something with one of my fingers by accident (well, I refer to the feeling as 'going to the moon).

When I was about 30, I started looking at alternative medicine and I tried anything that came across my path to try to stop the pain. I have tried many normal and not so normal 'ideas'. I sometimes do not believe at what lengths I went to try to ease my pain and suffering!

This is what has brought me here to this point in my life.

I'm grateful to be able to learn so much about myself and life and I wouldn't take it back (well, some days I might want to).

Something was telling me to blog. I really didn't know much about blogging - I am still a novice at best. Approximately 5 weeks ago, I sat at my computer and started typing.

I am surprised at where my blogs have led me. I thought I was trying to help others and that still is a big goal of mine. However, what I am finding out is that this is a great outlet for me.

A way to feel like I'm doing something. I told a friend this morning about my blog and I said that it's draining because I put everything out there and do not hold back as I post each individual blog; its fun because it does give me an outlet and I feel a little purpose in my life; and it's scary because I don't want anyone laughing at me or telling me that I am completely 'off my rocker'!